Do you want to know how to feel loved by your husband? You are sure that your hubby loves you but you don’t seem to enjoy that sense of being loved, right. The question may feel complicated as you wonder how can someone else even tell me how to feel loved! You are not alone, that’s a common dilemma among married woman.
And the truth is all of us as humans were once born with a blank brain which means we have to learn almost everything. Remember as a small baby someone had to tell you who your name is, then what 1+1 is, and now you can tell what 7200 x 2 is all because you learned in school!
As in this post we are talking about how to feel loved by your husband and as usual, I like listing the How To’s in bullet list first then a detailed explanation of each point after the summary.
So How do You get Yourself to Feel Loved by Your Hubby? Check the Below Tips:
- Captivate that feeling of being loved
- Look at the small things he does
- Meditate his loving words
- Appreciate yourself and life
- Tell him what makes you feel loved
- Believe you are lovable
- Watch your mood swings
- Don’t Overthink
- Learn to listen
- Stop being judgmental
You already feel him right, that’s it! Wondering how comes you didn’t factor that out until now… well, as I said earlier it’s funny that our brains need to be ignited to grasp even the simplest of things right.
A Bit of My Analysis…
Top on that you are not the only person asking this seemingly 0.15 dollar question. I checked on how many records there are on the topic “how to feel loved (specifically by your husband,” and it is amazing. Over 412,000,000 results (in 0.39 seconds) came up on Google alone, on this topic. So yup, it a serious question than it is common. Enough of that and back to the explaining the points:
Captivate the Feeling don’t Just Sit there Wondering
As a marriage counselor, I have had wives say, the man does everything to make them happy. He remembers your birthdays, brings you flowers even when it’s not valentine’s day, helps your with house chores – name-it, but you still don’t seem to get the emotional sensation of being loved! others spend hours searching for does my husband love me signs on Dr. Phil’s website. Hoping everything in the “does my husband love me anymore quiz” checkbox hits green tick.
The reason as to why this is happening to you might be deeper than meets the eye. Behavior therapists often cite two major reasons: First it might be that your childhood experience robbed you the joy of feeling loved – happens when maybe your parents, teacher, or guardian were never mindful of the way they treated you, which made you believe you don’t deserve being loved…
The second reason might have something linking to your recent past, your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband, something close to these lines. How much did you love your ex, was it too much that you felt the world being unlivable without them…
Quick Tip: Forget about your past life whether childhood or the love experiences you had – these are past-tense. Focus on your present life. Captivate your feelings towards your current husband, he’s what you have in your life at present and that should make you happy. Acknowledge the fact that he chose you – this alone should make you feel loved.
Be Sensitive to Small Things
How sensitive are you to the small things your husband does for you and the relationship? With the current pace the world is moving with, it’s not easy to see the small details of our daily life. As in, it’s like there is that feeling of “wish he did this or that to prove his love to me.” In other words, there is that mentality that makes all of us think we are only loved when something we want is done for us.
I was listening to a behavior coach explaining how most parents only notice their kids because of something good they did – they never acknowledge their children based on the small things they are in life… unfortunately, that’s how we all were raised. The point I am driving home is: be conscious of the little gestures in your relationship.
Quick Tip: Things like, does he come home – that means you two are life partners and you need to feel accepted; Why does he not “cold-bloodedly” take another woman, it’s because you are cherished and he can’t just overlook that fact, so instead of asking does my husband love me or is he using me, choose to feel valuable!
There is a lot you two share in common, you live in the same house, share the same bed, maybe go to church together… you name it, all these are obvious things that when you become mindful off you certainly will develop that feeling of being loved by your husband.
Meditate on His Loving Words
Most often when we feel neglected or unloved, it’s because our minds wander and dwell too much on wrong experiences we’ve had in the relationship. The truth is from time to time you will clash with your hubby – quarrels are inevitable between couples. However, most wives tend to focus more on the hurting words their spouse said and never on the sweet words. As such, I used to think my sell my husband doesn’t love me anymore, and it hurts.
As a smart wife it’s good to know the phycology of men and the fact that mostly, the reason your husband hurls words at you is simply that he thinks you are not submissive. In fact, 97% of the times he is being rude is just to pin you down as he thinks you are too arrogant. Otherwise most times a sober husband will want to have their wives as their first friend.
Quick Tip: Be smart not to dwell on the emotional outbursts, they come and go. What dwelling on the bad moments does is just squeeze your emotional energy and live you feeling unloved. Trash those bad experiences, and think about the great moments and talks you two enjoyed!
Love and Appreciate Yourself and Life
The master’s book in Mark 12:31 urges us to love your neighbor as yourself. For us to love our fellow humans effectively, we must love ourselves first. That is, the joy of being loved comes with first loving ourselves. It’s also good to be sober enough and appreciate the gift of being alive and having a partner.
As in, although life often seems complicated and unfair, just being alive and with a man to call a husband is something to treasure and feel privileged about. While your hubby might be one of those men who doesn’t really know to express love openly, check the signs in his actions and you’ll find love.
On the other hand, in case your husband is the kind that breaks boundaries to express their affection, take that as an exceptional gift and ignite your feeling of being loved.
Quick Tip: Remember you are his wife and the only way he married you in the first place is because he thought you are interesting, that’s how he fell in love with you – so feel loved! And stop wallowing in does my husband love me any more quiz lists.
Hand Him a List of what Makes You Feel Loved
Another good approach how to feel loved by your husband is sit down, brainstorm those things you think that if your spouse does them, would make you feel loved and cherished as his wife and hand him the list. Trust me, your husband will be more than willing to take into account all or several of those things.
By nature, the husband will always want to make his wife fulfilled. However, it’s good that you also ensure the things you want done are and attainable. Don’t bring a wish list that is not realistic – things like asking him to take a job-leave for a day or two to take you to Disney land if his work doesn’t allow that won’t be a wise idea.
Be specific and original. Like you might want him to be spending 20 minutes or so talking with you, or giving you maximum attention, and don’t forget to make him know how important that is to you. It can also be something like taking a walk together, doing some garden work together, and so on…
Quick Tip: Have you been asking, “my husband doesn’t love me anymore what should I do?” Try to make him conscious that if he does certain things for you, you’ll feel loved.
Believe You are Lovable and be Lovable
Way before even thinking about how to feel loved by your husband, It would have been good if you checked up on your beliefs, do you think you are lovable? Naturally, it’s easy to be hard on yourself and think that you are not worthy enough, maybe because your husband complains of your inadequacies, your character and so on… but don’t let that fool you. You are lovable.
While you may not have it right altogether, the truth is people especially your husband and those who already know you will forgive your flaws, inadequacies, and madness. That means they love you, so feel it!
Top on that, behave and talk like someone who is worth loving – be amiable. Be soft to deal with, be considerate that your man is worth respect and attention and with time, that alone gives an impression that you are responsible and in return makes you feel cherished and loved. The fulfillment is in doing what you are required (respecting him, understanding him, being there for him and so on…)
Quick Tip: Other than working on your behavior also keep a nice portfolio of nice dresses that make you look for your husband, put on good perfume and such like things; that’s how to be lovable. It also sends a signal to him that you believe you are charming and hot – and that’s exactly what he will take you for.
Master Your Mood Swings
All days are not equal especially for married women, at times you just feel as if your husband is the last “problem” you want to see. Maybe he stressed you or your emotions are just overboard. At such times it’s easy to feel abandoned and not loved but the truth is these are mood swings all women face.
Quick Tip: Don’t measure your relationship during such days. Instead, it would be nice to explain to him that being a woman you have to deal with mood changes every time and again (this has something to do with the release of certain hormones relating to the menstrual cycle). This same message also needs to sink into you, accept your emotional fluctuations and don’t assume the fact even at your low times you are loved by your man. That’s when you know you are maturing in how to feel loved by your husband.
Research says overthinking can cause complete damage to a relationship. It makes small problems appear like mountains or make arguments sound like they are going to last forever. It can make you feel completely isolated from your hubby, not to mention that this can trigger stress.
Studies have it that women are most hit by the vice of overthinking. It kind of comes automatically to most of us. However, overthinking can bring in countless insecurities; that’s how you begin asking questions like:
- Does my husband love me or is he using me
- How do I know if my husband is still attracted to me
- How to know when your husband stops loving you
- What to do when your husband doesn’t love you anymore
In short, overthinking often makes you ask questions that rip of your energy completely. In the same thought patterns, you may start asking why did he look at me that way, does he really still care, he didn’t feel right, was that because I did something wrong and so on…
Quick Tip: Take things lightly, believe that your husband loves you and that arguments, as well as fights in marriage, are a common happening – every marriage struggles with such issues. Also try to forget as much as possible all past misunderstandings – your man (like all other men) is to error just as you – so don’t dwell on negative thoughts.
Learn to Listen
Here is the logic: when a wife learns to listen the signal she sends to her husband is that his words are important, and return on that is that the husband will want to keep her attention by being friendly to her. The concept relates to the principle: you reap what you saw (Galatians 6:7), so ensure you give him attention when he’s telling you what he thinks is important and he should respond the same when you need the same.
It goes without saying that most wives miss that. Sowing attention is my top how to feel by your husband trick, that I share with most married couples and I have seen how it transforms 100s if not 1000s of marriages. Initially, I’d assume my partner’s need for attention which literary stole away intimacy from our marriage and gave me that sense of loneliness.
Quick Tip: Communication is key in every relationship not only marriage. Your husband wants to be sure that he is making sense and impact when he talks to you, as opposed to the fact that we are made to believe men don’t crave for attention. The truth is they do. Imagine the way you feel when he doesn’t seem to care… now turn that the other way around, how do you feel when he gives you the attention you disserve when you are talking, loved and cherished, right?
In fact, communication is one of the major catalyst for intimacy, the lack of it is said to contribute to over 70 percent of divorce cases in the U.S. alone. Fortunately, there are tons of information about how couples can strengthen their communications skills online but personally, I will always recommend seeing a marriage counselor on the topic.
The good with seeing a professional is that chances are, both of you will be in attendance at the session trying to solve your communications issues as opposed to one partner learning online without their partner. In fact, were it not that this post is about how to feel loved by your husband and not specifically about communication in relationships, I’d have poured out my 7500 words advise on how to just give an ear to your husband without interrupting him. But that’s for another post.
Stop Being Judgmental
You want to feel and enjoy being loved by your husband, then consider thinking before becoming the supreme court judge over everything he says. Sometimes it’s natural to be critical of certain behaviors in the relationship, but your take of things should not sound as if you are accusing your partner.
Nobody takes blames lightly whether they are guilty or not, there is that need to feel accepted in all of us. The problem with being judgmental is that your partner eventually might become afraid because they know you are literary ready to punish anything they say, so they go silent. Now, because you don’t why they are behaving that way you might think they ignoring you hence the feeling of not being loved.
Quick Tip: So if you do this you’d better stop as well looking for those does my husband love me signs because you’ll not find any. Condemning everything your husband says or does will often backfire to cause you more emotional damage than you can think. The more you see fault in him you likewise begin to think that he is sensitive to your faults – which he may not even be. The principle is, judge not your husband and he will not do the same to you (principle reference: Luke 6:17), in return, you always feel loved.
My Conclusion on How to Feel Loved by Your Husband:
What I personally like about this list is the fact that the points are scientifically proven. Maybe the reason you’ve been feeling unloved all the while is because you gave too much attention to small disagreements, or several other do’s or don’t’s in the above-explained 10 points…
Some facts about why you need to handle him nice: according to a research by survey moms, on a scale of 1 to 10, moms have an average stress level of 8.5. The same finding also highlights out of 7000 wives 46 complain of being stressed by their husband, but there are other reasons, huffingtonpost.com explains the details of the research in their article.
So what is your take in this? The good about sharing your thoughts is that you might help advice another wife who is stuck on a “does my husband love me anymore quiz, or does my husband love me or is he using me, with the biggest of all questions being: how to feel loved by your husband. So leave a comment below to help marriages to grow stronger.