“My husband is not there for me emotionally and I really don’t know what to do, I thought I’m strong enough to cope up with this but it’s like it is wearing me down, is there anything I can do to make him be considerate of my feelings?” asked a family friend of ours.
My husband neglects me emotionally, why? This post is precisely meant to tackle that! Read on…
Most wives get stuck on thinking that there is nothing they can do when a marriage problem seems persistent; but the truth is, no problem is unresolvable.
There is always a way to help deal with any marital issue. In fact, personally, I have received a lot of help from professional marriage counselors despite being one myself and I can tell you they are worth engaging.
A wise woman builds her home with her own hands – Proverbs 14: 1-3.
These gurus have the know-how, to help you and your partner get to the root of the matter. As in, do what you can to bring peace in your relationship.
Now, based on my research and experience on this topic; my answer to the question – “why does my husband neglect me emotionally and what can I do?” is simple; check the below points and begin to apply them right away.
The answers in summary:
- Stop shouting at him when in arguments
- Be submissive and let him feel his position as the man of the house
- Be generally friendly
- Give him those girlish looks
- Tell him you have missed a great bedtime together
- Have him know that you apologize for anything he might be having against you
- Stop acting neglected
- Value yourself as well as him
- Cooperate with his decisions
- Talk the matter together with him and settle on the proposed solutions
Here is the principal: – overcome evil with good!
Having counseled several couples both new and old, I believe you as the wife can do something about this, more than your husband can.
Since your husband is still within the confines of your marriage this means you have many opportunities to change the perspective he is having towards you. Wondering how? It is simple: use the power of submission!
Nothing attracts a man and makes a woman beautiful than when she has decided to genuinely submit to her husband.
What Makes a Husband Choose to Neglect his Wife’s Emotions
Questioning about why a husband chooses to ignore his wife, this does not happen by accident, there is a solid reason as to why your husband seems to care less about your emotions.
And narrowing to the exact reason places you in a better position to address the friction. While we are going to discuss this from a broader perspective, the following few points are meant to help you recall what might have caused the change of things, and why he now does not seem to care about your emotional expressions anymore.
Tip: Do not feel condemned because of this – sometimes you are not the cause for him deciding to ignore you emotionally and sexually. Be realistic and dig up into your mind to get to the root of the problem, to help you shed some light on where to begin to fix the issue.
Here you go!
My husband neglects me emotionally. Could be He is Still Hurting
Think; could it be that there is something you did in the past that hurt him so much, that he finds so hard to go over. And since he is finding it hard to swallow the pain, he thinks a less harmful way to revenge is not to care anymore about what you feel, so he ignores you.
Or simply put, maybe your husband came to know about your past life, the people you pushed with before you met him (men get hurt after knowing their wife slept with various boyfriends before marriage – forgetting that he also had affairs with other girlfriends before you came into the picture).
Help Him Get Over the Past
Some men are not strong enough when it comes to dealing with the past. Actually, one reason why a husband may develop cold feelings towards the wife is after he discovers the wife did an abortion or used drugs, or maybe you had several relationships before meeting him. The thing that runs in his mind if that is the case is that he sees you had other plan-Bs and you only feel into his hands as the last resort.
If you had told him about your past life however shameful it may have been, most often the man would have thought you are trustworthy. Transparency generally builds a relationship as opposed to secrets that later become exposed.
Tip:- Overcome your past and let him see you no longer care about it. All is not lost, you can always pick from where you left. Well, this does not mean that you tell your husband everything in your past life, simply talk over from a general overview and only mention things that you are afraid might someday come to light – and insist that all that now is completely past tense.
My husband neglects me emotionally. Could be You are Emotionally ‘too’ Needy!
At the personal level, you might be complaining about why my husband neglects me emotionally while it’s you who is too needy that you think everybody is just being inconsiderate of your emotions. Good symptoms that tell you are emotionally too needy is if you are given to wanting to please everybody around you, especially strangers.
You may think you are emotionally intelligent but once a visitor comes around it’s like you feel you need to be too nice to win their friendship.
You also find that when watching sad movies you tent to connect more with victims in the story, (you may cry in the midst of the story); that’s a sign you are emotionally needy, and as such, this may manifest through feeling your husband is neglecting you when he doesn’t act the way you expect.
Other Symptoms You are Emotionally Needy
- You easily feel other peoples’ pain
- You talk too much to try and convince people that you are important
- When looked down upon, you immediately become stressed
- You are always concerned with what people say about you
- When criticized you take it as an attack rather than an indicative to correct your behavior…
So before asking why my husband neglects me emotionally, it’s good that you first look into your emotional health (often manifested in your characters). Are you so needy that you appear demanding and bothersome? Being demanding is one thing that makes men ignore their wives, just a heads up.
Revealed Secretes – My husband neglects me emotionally and sexually…
A couple who have been struggling with the same topic made me learn a lot about life secretes. So what happened is that the husband started showing signs of ignoring her. So she decided to investigate the change of attitude and in a matter of time, the husband indicated that indeed someone told him about her past lifestyle.
Yes, there are people who of cause don’t like you ( they could be from his family side or from just those enemy friends). If that’s the case, don’t get depressed asking why does my husband neglect me emotionally… he is human and will soon get over it.
Most times husbands get trapped into thinking wives are supposed to be angels. It’s good that your partner understands that both of you are human beings and are given to mistakes.
That sounds like telling him can break the relationship but it would be liberating to him when he finally knows no woman is perfect. We all did wired things at some point, none is holy as they may appear to be.
Get the Facts Right before Complaining why My Husband Neglects me Emotionally
The good thing about marriage is that you are dealing with a human being and they also have a memory of things they did that were shameful, with respect and tenderness you can point out their past to them as well to prick the pride. Now, get down to him and request to know what it is that you did, in the past, or are doing now that makes him neglect you emotionally.
In case he tells you, it’s good that you first begin by apologizing. If it’s about an exposed past life, simply have him understand, that that is a gone case and that you changed a long time ago. You can also mention the fact that everybody has a dark history to shy away from and that you have regretted your actions ever since.
Emotional neglect examples may include: the hubby doesn’t show concern when you are sick; he no longer asks how your day has been after coming from work, not picking your calls and not explaining why. He no longer cares even when you cry; the husband stops talking to you; he desists from body contact and so on… some wives also complain “my husband neglects me in bed,” a sign that he is depressed. These are just a few signs of emotional neglect in a relationship
It’s growing worse my husband ignores me when I cry as well, how do I make him feel me?
While that should be your goal, a better approach to solving the question of why my husband neglects me emotionally is to first help him change his attitude towards you. Let’s be clear, no husband in their sober mind would want to avoid the warmth between their wives legs. Women are sweet and men can’t help that.
In fact, a research that projected 1623 men, suggests that over 1579 of them believe that women are natural flowers that everybody would wish to keep their eyes on. The remaining 44 men did not deny this notion even though they did not verbally admit the same.
Top on that, scientific research has proven that after every 120 seconds (2 minutes to be precise) the brain of a straight and sober man thinks about things that relate to a woman. Be it admiring their body, wishing to have a nightstand, remembering good and bad times with their wives and other things close to that, like between the sheets gymnastics.
My Husband Neglects me Emotionally. Use “The Power of a Woman!”
It’s not true to say or think your husband doesn’t think about you. He does, and in fact, he can’t shut you off in his memory as much as you are around. That gives you the idea that you have the capacity to change things, use your convincing powers.
About what to do to make your hubby feel you emotionally, below are a few tips to employ, these should switch him to change from that attitude:
- Talk to him nicely
- Serve him past the normal things he is used to, like help him tie his belt or shoelaces
- Not Give him attention could be the reason for neglecting you emotionally is that he want attention
However, if the reason your husband is neglecting your emotions is that somebody disclosed your past mistakes to him, try to clear the airwaves by explaining and apologizing for not letting him know from the words go.
If you are also fond of speaking to your husband with a loud or commanding tone, stop it. Findings show that 92 in every 100 men would rather come home late if their wife is the kind that screams at everything.
In fact, 96 percent of men take as an attack on their peace when the wife shouts at the kids every time. Just to help change his attitude, it’s good that you let your husband know that henceforth you’ll not be loud unless you’ve forgotten. Marriage is all about solving misunderstandings every time they show up.
My husband neglects me emotionally. What’s your take on this? Let us hear your comments below. Also, feel free to share this article to help someone who could be facing this same problem; and of cause above all else, remember to involve a professional marriage and relationship counselor when things seem beyond your capacity to handle. It is amazing how a few dollars can completely salvage your relationship and keep you from heart wreck.