This is a piece of balanced advice on how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson.
I call it balanced because other advice out there can be just too risky to stick-to or even follow as they can destroy your marriage. So check below for a safe set of actions to take.
Summary list of how to ignore your husband to teach him a Lesson:
- Go silent but don’t be arrogant
- Keep a distance but within range
- Balance how you look at him
- Let him know your mission but be smart
- Define the length of time you plan to ignore him— don’t over it
- Know what to begin with and where to focus on
- Know what’s in his mind
- Play safe in the presence of his female friends
- Be sure he has learned his lesson
- Know where not to go
Of cause, you are looking to solve a problem not to create new ones, right? Hope that’s a yes.
You also have an option to seek professional advice from an experienced marriage counselor; and for that, I personally recommend these guys here because I deal with them and they are pretty professional and cheap. Click here to check their services.
I expound more on the above points, below; so read on…
Now since we are on the same page (solving a problem not creating new ones,) you can “open the bottle” to give your hubby a balanced dose of “attention deprivation“ that would make him crave for your attention to teach him a lesson when he takes you for granted.
It’s also important that you do a bit of homework on reasons why a husband ignores his wife to know what to correct on your part. I research a lot on solving marriage problems and can assure you that all it takes sometimes is just changing your attitude and he’ll want to smell your perfume every single second…
Back to how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson – I must admit this topic is tricky because we want to solve a problem by learning how to hurt your husband emotionally with the intent of teaching him while at the same time ensure the marriage remains intact.
No blind games that might make you regret later, all you want to pass is a serious message. You are not planning to ruin the relationship, – ensure what you get from this piece is exactly just how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson.
Hope you’ve defined your purpose and now let’s learn how to hurt your husband emotionally to make him humble, not to break him.
But first let’s answer this:
Why Does My Husband Ignore Me all the Time?
Well, there are several reasons why your man no longer offers the attention he used to give to you.
- Could be his ego is making him think you are no longer that important
- He might be a workaholic that he has gotten too busy
- He might be losing grip on the marriage
- Maybe he is testing your patience
- Could be he is facing a serious problem at work
- He might also be doing it on purpose to hurt you emotionally…
- Hint: don’t be astonished to discover your husband has been researching on “how to ignore your wife to teach her a lesson as well,” it happens.
If that’s the reason he is not giving enough attention you better tell him you are willing to correct whatever he wants and you’ll have ended the struggle. Also, you might want to address the problem by simply telling him to his face that you don’t like whatever offends you in his set of behaviors. Now if he doesn’t seem to listen that’s when you embark on the journey of how to deal with selfish husband who can’t listen to his wife.
Well, let’s dig a bit into the husband’s phycology and let’s see the thought patterns men have towards their wives. At some point, although not always, your hubby might behave like he already got everything he wanted from you. It’s an assumption that makes him sometimes behave like you are not that valuable anymore.
However, the undeniable fact is you are extremely valuable to him, just that he’s a bit blind to see. It is easy to take personally his bad attitude towards you – when you think you caused it, but don’t take it in – it’s not your problem.
Many women deal with the same thing time and again. In fact, a simple search on the big-G (Google) tells you that there are about 19,500,000 search results for how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson (fetched in 0.54 seconds) from search engines. Meaning it’s a question many have tried to answer. In short, you are not the problem as such, it’s a veil on your hubby, and the lesson you are about to teach him will take it off!
What Makes You Want to Ignore Your Husband?
Honestly, 99.9999 percent of marriages have problems and there are not perfect relationships under the sun. However, there are those small problems that need to be plucked out through tough lessons—one being pride. As in, if you realize that it’s kind of, your hubby is no longer giving enough attention, you want to enforce that by becoming a bit hard to catch.
There is also this tendency men have of thinking they can always dictate everything. Well, sometimes it is good that he shows his manly character –being ruddy but not always, so you may want to neutralize that when it surpasses the boundaries. Your husband needs to know that he cannot always have things done by force – and this can be achieved by pinning down his ego.
Does he keep silent when you are trying to talk to him for no reason? That’s another recipe that warrants you to teach him a lesson. He should know nobody likes to feel foolish by not being responded upon after asking something important with sincerity.
Another reason you may want to pay less attention to him is when he thinks his male friends have become more valuable than you. Quick note: notice I’ve said his male friends, not female friends. Please don’t try to ignore him when the female friends are the center here because that set’s him up for temptation.
As in, he may think that is a go-ahead you are giving him to explore with the female friends. You want to play hard to catch without dragging him to unnecessary temptations. This brings us to the question:
Is it Safe to Ignore Your Husband in the Name of Teaching him a lesson?
When done smartly, yes it is very safe –but if done blindly this can invite other problems. You must have heard of the cold war in marriage: where one spouse decides to go silent for like 2, 3, or 4 days. Off cause, if you’ve been chatting always but all over a sudden you notice, kind of a programmed silence from your husband you always know there is either something stressing him or there is something you’ve done that hurts his emotions.
That’s the kind of cold war I am talking about. In this case, let’s illustrate the cold beating you want to serve him as holding back attention on him. So yes, you can switch off talking to him for a day or two and make him question himself. Generally, men are quick to notice changes in their wives behavioral patterns especially when it appears to question their ego.
Where to Begin on the mission: how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson…
Think of what you’ve been doing too much to him that made him think it is automatic – and stop doing it. If you often serve him food to his place, now just be bringing it on the table and declare henceforth it would be self-service. Let him miss the privilege of being a baby, fed with good things! You made him the king; request to be made the queen—but be smart.
In case, you always see him off by walking him to the door headed to work, limit that. As in, send the signal thru things that were not in the first place a must have for them. You can also smartly pretend to be on the phone when he wants to talk to you (the same way he does), most likely he will realize the reason not to be tied that much on the phone or social media platforms at the expense of his family.
You used to call him countless times, cut that off – it’s funny how this sends a clear signal to a married man. As in, when the female partner acts like she may discontinue certain favors the male partner would always get insecure and want to know why.
You used to text him with some love messages, pretend your day was down that you couldn’t send him the message… as in your intention is to send that signal that the favors he is used to might be withdrawn as well.
Go Silent but not Arrogant
Arrogance is a no-no option route to take because it makes you appear disrespectful and no man can safely tolerate that. The thing is, just appear to respect him but go silent on things he knows you’d often contribute or participate in –- remember our mission is just how to ignore your husband to get his attention, and once you get him, the war should be over.
A good example could be, if you are watching something together you can behave like you just don’t want to give an opinion or are completely disinterested in the show, or event.
They say actions speak louder than words so you don’t need to answer him arrogantly when he asks why, or the reason for your attitude – just say I’m fine but in a manner that clearly portrays the opposite of what you say.
A quick note: Again, some husbands may not be fast enough to understand this, they may think you are just having a bad day but if they see some purpose behind it, they may want to dig deeper.
Adding on this, if he decides: hey, let’s sort this out know your point has been noted and since he is your husband, be willing to resolve. Don’t trash his humility at such a point. Well, this is not a love-lecture, it is a how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson talk– but of cause, the end-result needs to be a stronger marriage, right.
Keep Distance but Within Range
Well another effective way to silently ignore him is to keep body contact at a distance. Instead of sitting together on the same couch, you can sit away and pretend to look away, other than being focused on the television. When walking together be smart to walk beside him but maintain a small distance apart. You know what signal this sends to him, there is something that needs to be done to keep you closer – exactly what you want to achieve.
You can initiate the walk and be strategic in sending your overall message. Take it this way, imagine someone suggested you go for a walk together but they stay and remain silent all along. That is what I called silence within range. Keeping a safe distance within range is a strategy I first learned when I started looking for how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson.
But what about beneath the sheets, in the bedroom, when he needs to do it? What a perfect question and opportunity to pass your message across! However, be smart: don’t deny him his rights, he is your husband, let him do it, but then show that it is not enjoyable as it needs to be.
Tip: look away as he struggles to shake his waist up and down there, (like he is not making any impact). This makes him know, he has sacrificed great moments because of his selfish attitude of not giving you your attention as his wife. You can also let him know that if he restores his attention and behavior, things would be better next time.
Should I Look at Him?
Remember this is not a tutorial on how to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson; it is a piece of balanced advice on how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson, thus the answerer to if you should look at him is double-edged, yes and no. But hey, even if you two are not yet married, this post still offers great tips on how to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson, I bet you are getting some solid tips as well.
…Read below how I would execute looking at him when I’m ignoring him
Before the 2 or 3 days of overlooking him begins, give him 4 days or a week of undivided attention. Be super attentive when he is talking; look at him in the eyes, focus on his gesture when he is speaking and so on. Now, that will make the 2 or 3 days of being ignored fell like hell and he had better be out of that.
Off cause if he surrenders, it’s good that you release the rope to make him feel; “I better keep safe with my wife next time.”
If he hasn’t, the cold war continues… ask him a question then look away as he is answering it, then look back to him and say nothing – caution: this inflicts a super blow to his ego so please don’t make it a habit, after your hubby learns his lesson, be talking to him with your undivided attention.
Should He Know your Mission?
Sure, but do it smart. After you’ve withdrawn a favor you can suggest that with meeting a certain condition the favor can be restored with better intensity. Like for example, if he keeps his phone away during dinner, serving him food can be restored with add-on services (have him imagine of a hot kiss on the cheek or of a great bed experience, between the sheets, when he gives you the right attention.
You can also suggest that good attention (not just when he wants it, but always) turns you on and makes you respect his gentleman’s demeanor more than anything. As in, playing hard on him should come with a promise if he changes. And you know what, nobody doesn’t feel curious when a promise of a great experience is wrapped in a request for change of behavior.
How Long Should You Ignore him?
24 hours can make him know there is a problem somewhere. However, if he doesn’t get it you can extend the cold war to a couple of days, like 2,3 or 4 days. Off cause it’s not wise to overdo it because it can trigger stress to him as well as you.
That’s the reason I emphasized on the fact that your ignoring him is exclusively because you are after teaching him a lesson, you don’t want to destroy your relationship all you want is simply correct something and once the goodwill is there to correct, there is no need for extending the cold war season.
What Does He think During this Period?
As a human being and especially being your husband, you’d expect that a lot of thoughts would be trans-crossing his mind. He is talking to you and you a looking away, you used to decide the clothes he should wear but now you’ve left the task to him, whether he showers or not is no longer a big deal to you – sure, that would be alarming even if he doesn’t complain.
If the correction you want to be made is not an attitude that he purposely adopted, off cause he might not immediately change. Nonetheless, he might think that he badly offended you, he’s not a good husband, he is not a man enough and so on… that’s the reason it is wise that you point out the exact issue. I advise wives to mention what exactly is not right before embarking on a marriage cold war.
In short, before searching how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson, at least you should have warned him about those things you want to be rectified. Not once, or twice, that’s way too little.
Also, anything that makes you go on a wife strike needs to be super serious. It needs to be something you have tried to bring to his attention severally and it’s like he purposely ignored it, that is when you taste the waters.
When is it the Best Time to ignore him?
After he comes back from work is a bit more advisable than when he is living for work. As in, play smart, let him go thinking everything is fine but when he comes back he realizes a pattern in your behavior that is not usual.
You can also target the weekends when he needs your company. Be around but pretend not to be in the mood to actively participate in what he is doing. You can also follow him to the gym but stay numb, you just don’t want to talk until some conditions are met – that is the signal you want received.
Signs He Learned The lesson
After taking your husband through the rough road, most men will realize the sudden change of mood and attitude. And since they are intricately wired to solve problems, you’ll see that your husband will begin to complain. Some may even use harsh language, a sign that the pinch is penetrating, while others might respond to the cold war by going silent themselves.
Now since you started it, it’s good that you personally engage him to know the reason for his silence. If he points out that you’ve been doing the same tell him your reason, and ask him what his reason is. Now after speaking give him the assurance that you are quitting the silence mode but you want this and that to be rectified.
Make sure the exact lesson you wanted learnt is home and dry. And, once he begins to down his phone during dinner, he becomes attentive to you or starts again to execute his share of house duties, you know he is willing to adjust.
Don’t mind too much whether he will do everything you said, the most important thing is that willingness to correct. That’s what gives your mind assurance that the lesson was learned to the core, and this how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson tutorial was worth following.
Should you Ignore him the same way in future? Once you’ve mastered the game you can always put him back to class next time his ego overtakes him. However, always be smart to stick to your main goal (teaching him a lesson) so that you don’t invite other problems that you didn’t intend.
Things to Keep in Check
Now, for the sake of wisdom, there are a few things that you need to keep in check just to ensure you don’t go out of balance even if this is a how to hurt your husband emotionally talk.
…So ask yourself if what you want to teach him is something teachable through ignoring him. Is what you are fighting something he just placed on himself recently or this a weakness that cannot change. As in, most wives just focus on why does my husband ignore me all the time without considering the fact that he might be facing his share of mid-life crises.
Like for example if your husband has just begun drinking, it may mean he is stressed over something and his emotions are hurt. So you have a choice to either push him further away or get closer to him before he gets addicted to drugs. However if this is something you found him doing even before marriage ignoring him for this might not work, you had better think of counseling sessions with a professional to help solve your marriage dilemmas.
There are also his conjugal rights that need not be withheld from your husband. This is a natural urge he has to his wife, and wouldn’t go well if you decide to stave him as it may lead to him being tempted to get the service outside the marriage.
As in, the question you asked was just how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson, not to suffocate him in a way that risks the life of the relationship. In short there things you don’t want to withdraw and those that are safe to withhold with the sole intent of wanting to prick his ego balloon.
What of a boyfriend, someone you are not married to but still you want to ignore him to teach him a lesson? Can you make him learn how to treat you before he walks you down the aisle? The thing is when it comes to a boyfriend, the first thing girls need to understand is that giving yourself too much to your boyfriend makes him think you are sort of desperate and it is easy to be taken for granted. To avoid or change incidences of being taken lightly, this is the answer for how to ignore your boyfriend to teach him a lesson:
- Become busy so he doesn’t always get you anytime he calls
- Don’t visit your boyfriend’s place or home all the time
- Don’t appear needy when you are together, maintain your value
- Allow room to understand that he may not be your husband finally, things change
- Learn to be okay with yourself, don’t always rely on your boyfriend’s approval
- Be emotionally contained when you feel excessive love
- Try not to be arrogant of cause; respect him but demand your respect back in a respectable way.
Now over to you, if asked the question how to ignore your husband to teach him a lesson, what effective and safe tips would you recommend? Let’s hear your take on this in the comment section below!