A controlling husband can sometimes be a nightmare. He makes you think how in the world did I ever hook up with a guy of such a caliber!
Well, don’t get wrapped up in that thought because you are not alone.
There are countless marriages going through the same issues out there, as in “how to live with a controlling husband,” that’s a common question I get all the time.
As a wife, of cause you expect that he should be considerate caring and loving as he promised the first time you both were dating. So what went wrong? We cannot really say that he is tired with you because that’s too early.
The marriage may not even be 30 years old, and he has gotten fed up? That’s extremely a short time to be logically possible. So, don’t worry about such controlling husband characteristics (my wife calls them such).
You can call them controlling spouse symptoms if you want, but trust me you can make them disappear.
Something is amiss and we going to help you fix that in this post
Let us begin with you as the wife, and let us be a bit honest to see if we can get to the root of the problem. Your position as the wife is unique in the relationship and most times this is where problems in a marriage like to emanate from.
Research says in every 1000 marriages if the wife can take the initiative to make the relationship work, the expected success is over 65%.
Why that? It is called the convincing power of a woman. However, as the wife, it’s important that you captivate trust that your husband would come to a level that he believes you are indeed trustworthy.
After he knows your heart and that you genuinely want the relationship to work, it will be easier to convince him when you are feeling left alone and in need of some love.
From a different research that involved 200 men, looking the behavior of the husband, it concluded that men are like adolescent boys when with their wives and looking that their ego they’ll always want to be respected. Now the big question is how do you respect him.
Most women go to marriage counselors asking how to live with a controlling husband, but the question should be, how exactly should I respect my husband and make him know that indeed I do respect him?
How to Deal with Dominating Husband
Like a year ago, a lady aged below 30 years come to our home and she was asking my wife the same question. She said her husband is extremely controlling and that he extends that even when they are in the public domain.
She illustrated how one day while they were busy serving their customers because they have a small food joint right within their locality. Now, it happened this Friday evening that she was feeling tired and wanted to rest a bit since at that hour the customers don’t always show up in large numbers. When the hubby saw her seated, he yelled at her without caring that a neighboring couple was coming to have their lunch together there.
As obvious, she felt so shameful and this kept her confidence away. A few days went by and she realized that if she’s not going to seek help from a marriage counselor, she might lose her self-esteem completely, so she consulted my wife.
How to Live with a Controlling Husband
As stated above the first step is, see what makes your husband thinks he has to control you, could you be acting immature all the time? Are in a way showing that you disagree with his way of thinking, what exact signal are you passing across? Naturally, your man will want to be super controlling when he thinks you are talking him for a ride, or you just don’t think he’s worth the respect. So try and change the wrong signal and act in a manner that he will be sure you do consider his authority.
However, Yes, we admit that he can be insecure and that this is a way to try to feed his insecurities so that he feels like the man he should be. In such a case, a good point to begin is, assure him of your love and support and be as original as possible. I mean no begging or tears here.
Just be calm and look at him in the eyes and say these words, “Honey, you mean a lot to me and we are together in the battles of life. However, I need you to understand that I have feelings too. At times I feel oppressed by your controlling attitude but please have it in your heart, that I wish to be understood, and more so I want to feel cherished by you as my only husband, AS I CONTINUE TO SERVE YOU, MY KING.” Well don’t forget we are on our lesson on how to live with a controlling husband, so no shame, you can afford to tell him those words, can you?
As it is normal with men, he might behave like you’ve just said nothing, but that shouldn’t scare you. You have passed the message and since men are good listeners when you say it like you mean it, those words will catch up with him for the rest of the week. Concerning how soon he will stop being controlling, give him time.
Things may not change immediately, but hopefully, they will in a few days. Another thing you might realize him begin to do is he might try to start doing some things for himself, like serving himself tea and so on… when that happens don’t feel like he will no longer need you. That’s an insecurity on your part and as a strong wife, you need to overcome it. Seize the opportunity and request him humbly to also serve you some tea!
Place Some Worth on Yourself
Men for one reason or another like humble but self-respecting women. How can you be that simple, it begins with how you take yourself on a personal level. The fact you are already searching for the answer to how to live with a controlling husband means you respect yourself to a greater extent. However, don’t always appear so needy that your partner thinks you are “beggar” (I say this respectively.)
I mean with wisdom and a humble demeanor value yourself, and those around you will see that and acknowledged your worth. This means, stop saying things that make you think less of yourself. Top on that, don’t eat foods and will make you lose shape, that could, in the long run, devalue how you see yourself.
As a matter of facts, when you start respecting yourself and become established in that, even that lovely overbearing husband of yours will begin to see your value and question his attitude.
Nonetheless, there are a few situations that even when the wife rectifies, the husband tends to be persistent in this controlling attitude. The answer to this is: you are not the problem because you are not the controlling wife here, your husband is instead. And you may not want to focus so much on the problem of how to live with a controlling husband. Your husband is insecure and that might have originated from his childhood life. In other words, pray for him and hope that he will mature to rise above it