1. Give up the past
The past is a gone story and you out to let it go. We so often don’t accept to allow the bygone to remain bygones, and this makes us reprimand ourselves and our partners for the mistakes they did. Having the past dominate is completely unfair to a marriage relationship. See, you ought to accept the fact that you cannot change what has happened already. Whether there exists an illegitimate child or abortion story somewhere, all these are bygones and if left to control a marriage relationship, there can never be peace.
Give up the past and accept the fact that your partner is human hence destined to mistakes and wrongdoings. It’s not your work to really spend a lifetime trying to figure out what should have been done, and how things out have gone. NO… Concentrate on the present and work on it. If there was a misunderstanding yesterday in the marriage, there no need to bring it to today. Look on better thing to lay your hands on and give up on the past!
2.Give up excuses
You’ll have to surrender the need to give excuses. This means choosing to always forgive your partner whether or not they ask for forgiveness, choosing to do what you must to keep the relationship, choosing to accept that your partner is human and so able to do anything when pressured beyond the limit.
3.Give up unreasonable fears
We all have fears in this life, however, some types of fears are unreasonable and can bring strain in the marriage. One example of constructive fear include; fear of losing a loved one- this makes you value your spouse. Now the unconstructive types of fear that you must give up include; fear of saying sorry (thinking it under-rates you) fear of saying the truth, and the likes. So in simple terms, give up on every fear that has no value in the marriage.
4.Give up resistance to change
If your partner has pointed out a need for you to change in any area, do it at once. See, resisting change only makes you appear unreasonably rebellious. Try to see the sense in it and accept to go with the positive course. If there is a need to change a behavior that’s slowly crippling the relationship, do it. Don’t wait for regrets, life has no rehearsal. This is the only life you have to live a happy life.
5.Give up the need to impress others
When the need to impress anybody outside a marriage strikes, then it’s like cancer that guarantees to kill the relationship. So please watch out! See, you can impress others but in the long run, ruin your marriage life. For instance, you might want to attend a party against your partners will, or to a friend’s wedding etc. Before following that need first ask yourself if it’ll be accepted by him/her. And if not, don’t go! It’s better to keep your marriage than impress people at the expense of your own life.
6.Give up the pleasure of criticism
Oops, I’ve just pressed a button! Oh yes… You are not alone here. I also recovered recently from this “mind-disorder”. The pleasure of criticism makes you some kind of watchman, a bad designation? Isn’t it. It makes you criticize every little behavior, mistake, dress-code, and weakness on your partner. Which is not right. Instead, you should be encouraging and cheer your partner. See, what comes from your mouth holds direct influence on the level of happiness in that marriage.
7.Give up the need to control everything
This is the most dangerous form of egoistic need. It makes you want to control everything in marriage. From how your partner talks, behaves, answers a phone call, eats, relates and even thinks. Surely this is tiring and makes the marriage strained. In fact, it makes you a master while your spouse becomes a slave. You have to accept that he/she is a human with a brain and give up on the need to control everything they do. Let someone use his or her brain and enjoy the fact that you’re not married to a robot.
8.Give up the need to always be right
This is a burning need and it’s good that you drop it. It adds no value to marriage but instead it deprives it. The need to always be right can steal your partner’s confidence, or even make him or her always appear confused. See, when you’re always right, it means your partner must do what you want if there is to be any form of happiness in the marriage.
This is a white lie, you can’t always right so give up the need! You don’t have to right so keep up your confidence even when you do a mistake. This need to always be right can breed a life of fear and guilt in your relationship. Just accept that both of you are destined to do mistakes and the only way out is to always be ready to forgive each other.