Actually what breaks marriages are simple issues that make partners irrational on their intended action. Practically, you’ll see many people regretting their action because they can’t associate with it. You argue with your partner over a petty issue and a fight breaks up, and it, not a fight, you or your partner flees away from the relationship. But then after sometimes you both realize the action was not worth the occasion.
It’s hard for anybody who has ever been in a serious relationship to deny having gone through emotional hijack. The biological term for this is Amygdala hijack, a mechanism of the body designed for protection from a dangerous situation ( fight or flight). However, despite the fact that the mechanism is often meant for good, it can be misinterpreted by the brain during a quarrel in marriage. This occurs because of lacking the knowledge to tame the situation. Often you may think that you have a serious problem with your partners when the hijack strikes.
So can you overcome emotional hijack and reduce stress in your marriage? Sure!… It’s very easy with the bellow techniques;
#1. Be prepared
|Emotional hijack in marriage|
See, just having the knowledge that emotional hijack is a biological mechanism and not a weakness, helps you to overcome it. And since you already know life brings stressing situations, it’s important to pre-set your mind for such hijacks. This will make it is easy to know when your rational brain is illegally apprehended for dangerous action. You don’t want to take actions that will cost you, in the long run, so be prepared to rationally solve issues during misunderstanding in the marriage.
#2. Take 3 deep-in-and-out-Breaths
Taking a firm deep breath will help to disconnect the charge of amygdala hijack (emotional hijack). As said earlier, emotional hijack is an auto-functioning mechanism that triggers immediate action to either fight or flight. However, a deep breath conquers all. So even when pressured and the mind is blank, there is always a chance to a least take 5 first breaths before action. And in fact this will save your marriage from un-intended actions and reduce the stress.
#2. Know yourself
Check on your anger management skills, do you burn quickly or slowly, and what actions do your emotions lead you to, when emotionally hijacked? Or in simple terms, be aware of yourself. For instance if you quickly burn with anger its good that you avoid arguments in your marriage. Also let your partner know of you anger management ability and request for their help. Your partner can help to remind you when you feel like doing something stupid that can cost the marriage.
#3. Know your partner
Off-course this is the opposite of #2., it’s important that you understand the emotional behaviour of you partner when he/she is under pressure. For example there are people who when hijacked emotionally, the first thing they want to do is commit suicide, divorce, withdrawal or such like things.
Know the true emotional color of your partner in the marriage, don’t just assume they are bad, or not understanding, but dig dip into analyzing their emotions. This will help reduce the stress of wanting to change your partner to suite your box. It will also help you to run out of their way when they are emotionally hijacked, and that can save you marriage.
#4. Avoid grudge or trending stress
Get rid of any stress that’s been trending in your heart. Yes, all marriages have stress of their kind, but don’t allow grudge to settle in your marriage. For your information, any emotional hijack brought by grudge can be extremely harmful in a relationship. Its dangerous than death, just to describe it. …Okay, may be your partner did something that you can’t forget, but take this as the past, don’t let it take any part in the hijack.
With all above, it’s likewise important that your partner know of emotional hijack and that such a thing exists. It’s a natural thing in life, but research has fully confirmed that it is manageable. The only requirement to overcoming dangerous results of amygdala hijack is knowing of its existence and functioning mechanism, and this will also wipeout stress in your marriage. Please share this post, it can save a marriage. Show responsibility over the well being of families. God bless you!