This is an advise I picked from a very rich couple who discovered the magic of mindfulness that rescued their relationship. Both the husband and the wife are privileged to work in high caliber jobs but have managed to effectively deal with marriage life stress. It’s not because they are well educated, in fact their relationship begun with the worst of stress and it nearly broke-up. What kept them together was children and this went on until they discovered how to make each other as just a neighbour.
The lady got pregnant while at college and this led to dropping-out of school. She had to nurse the pregnancy and thereafter take care of whatever will be born. It was not easy, as unwelcomed responsibility knocked earnestly and she had to give in to the pressure of getting into the family way: which is marriage life.
Things like baby clothes, attending clinics, washing poop and the likes never crossed into her mind. This brought stress, worry and all sorts of doubts into their relationship. The mother saw a great mistake instead of baby not to mention who the husband appeared to her, or for celerity,: dream killer. Their marriage life started with confusion and hurt breaks.
After several years the lady resolved into a journey of mindfulness, searching for joy and contentment in the same marriage. Healing time begun, and so they did some brainstorming towards correcting their life. They discovered that dropping out of school was the key source for stress and misunderstandings. Education was her priority and so they to quench that lifetime thirst.
It was a time of sacrifices and the husband had to nurse the baby while she went back to school. This was the only way to wipeout their marriage life stress. After that, they had to overcome the hatred between them by assuming to be like neighbors. In fact this idea of neighborhood and mindfulness in marriage has really helped me.
It simply encourages you and your partner to relate as neighbors. It discourages all platforms of despising your partner and demands natural respect. Let’s crack into the idea, in the real life, you are obliged to respect your neighbors privacy and the natural boundaries that exist. Which also should be the case in marriage life, you don’t have to dig into details to track your partner’s moves and actions. No. NO, that not mindfulness.
He or she also has a private life! Don’t control everything in the marriage life or you’ll stir-up hatred. Assume he or she is your next door neighbor and always stir-up positive and respectful dialogue. Learn to discover how your partner plans things. Try his or her techniques and allow room to be taught. Show regard for the relationship by giving space and room when your partner requests ample time. Marriage life shouldn’t be like a prison of sadness but an avenue of responsive freedom. Cheers as you practice the art of mindfulness!