Wednesday

Don't Stick to Your Problems If you ever want to be Rich

Am just from a long journey, but my mind is steel stuck on everything that my eyes fell on for past two day. I had gone to visit a family am related to. What really got my attention is the kind of life these people are in despite the fact that they were once among the richest families in the area.

What happened that led them to a life of poverty is the fact that their father never gave them some secondary wants. One says he was not given enough pocket money therefore he dropped from school, while the other one still blames poor parenting despite the fact that he's know almost 50years of age.

Talk of resources and you'll get the best in this particular family, but am sorry to say they are living in poverty! Can you imagine having a piece of land located right beside a fresh water permanent-river, what kind faming can't you do??? In fact even if faming is not your thing, -that river is capable to generate good amount of hydro-power. There is a lot one can do with hydro-power, and generate income. True? Off-course!

After deep thinking I came to terms with the saying, "poverty is in the mind". Ah...! I watched this man (one among the two who continued with his education) explaining himself about how poor he is, how he wish to go to the city to look for a better job (yet he works in a government office at the grass root level)... Oh my... THE POWER OF A WRONG MINDSET.

Surely... It is true to say that, "no matter someone's level of education or amount of possessions, the top deciding factor on the quality of life one lives is solely on the mindset. Yes you may have talents but you must set your mind to raise up.

Life is not about the past experiences, what you currently have or don't, or what people think about you. It's about what you think about yourself. The power to be the person you ever wished is in you. In fact it's true to say, poverty is a choice!

Life is always never fair, and that shouldn't mean we rest on that fact. Literally, the unfairness should work to propel us towards a better future. Never measure your life using the past since the past is gone and will never come forth.

Okay, you were abused and you know the pain therein, know take it positively- convert that pain into a virtue. Help as many kids as possible! You never attended school because of poverty, sponsor the poor! You were a drug addict but managed to stop, fund rehabilitation centers! Work on your mindset and you'll discover tremendous opportunities and resources that will add value to your life.  

Thursday

Compacting The Fear of Rejection

Let's begin first by unveiling the brutal truth about  who really faces the fear of rejection?... you'll discover that you are not alone. Everyone is a victim in this category of fear, which includes; presidents, pastors, police officers, children and so on... In fact to be honest, other than those who've mastered the art of compacting it, everybody else still, and always suffer from  it.

A child has a fear of being left by the parent, a parent has a fear of being disrespected by the kids, the president has a fear of being overthrown, a husband has a fear of being replaced, the same as the wife who has a fear of loosing his man. A student has a fear of failing exams- and so on. All these are fears that suggest rejection in one way or another. 

Fear of rejection will always pop from different avenues and that calls for essential knowledge of how we can always compact it. You don't have to succumb to it while you can live a fear-free-life. Bellow is how  to do it in a simple way;

(#1). Know it exists
Simple! Just know that the fear of rejection exists, and it's a common thing to everybody. That empowers you to know what to expect in life. The feeling of fear will come but don't follow it as it will lead you into worry. Be calm and watch the feelings subside over time. Don't act, just relax and know that it's just a feeling. 

(#2). Accept facts
Always note that only 25 percent of the people you meet will ever like you. This is a research that was done, and has been proved to be true. Another 25 percent  will instantly reject you the moment they see you, 25 percent may like you but can easily change their minds, while the remaining 25 percent may hate you at the fast place, but may change their minds along the journey of life. So why go for numbers while it's clearly impossible to be loved by everybody? Enjoy in the small fraction that you are certain of being accepted.

(#3). Love being who you are
Stop being "a-living-fake", embrace who you are and stop rejecting yourself. Fearing rejection can lead to a fake life. It makes you behave robotically because you are trying to hide your weakness in the quest to please everybody around.

Living "fake-ee" makes you appear wired to people and these pushes them even further from you. However when you are original, people tend to gain trust on your character and they end up being pulled towards you. The ideal way to compact this fear of rejection is by being realistic in life, accepting facts and loving who you are.

Friday

Finally: Write more Articles and Overcome Procrastination, this is How

Procrastination is the greatest enemy of writers. In fact almost every writer madly fights this enemy, needless to say it's a non-healable "disease". As a writer, not once or twice have I fall into procrastination... It's countless times. And this led to enormous time-gaps between which I posted new articles on the various blog-sites I own.

Procrastination comes in different ways, sometimes; like fear of failure, fear of poor grammar or even fear of losing your credibility on a topic you are not sure of. In other occasions it may come in a form of always wanting to postpone writing, .

You can have some cool article-titles but a sort of fear just emanates from no where and you begin to worry about where to get a big audience. Or again, you can begin to think that the subject may not be that interesting to folks. All these are writer's blocks we need to overcome.

I have been there and still fall into it sometimes but this one-simple-but-effective-trick has helped me write more articles. My Secrete is; WRITER TO HELP ONLY ONE READER. It's trues my articles have been read by tens of thousands, but for the sake of productivity, I assume that am writing for one reader.

Again, I always believe my reader is waiting for fresher content so I feel obliged to meet this expectation. See, when you do anything for the sake of helping someone the consistency of the act becomes automatic every-time you remember it.

In fact, when it comes to realistic thinking, a writer's productivity should be consistent, this is because we simply writer for our audiences' benefit. It's an obligation you ought to meet so don't let your mind enjoy the comfort of procrastination for long. Simply create some sort of "pressure" in yourself to meet your readers appetite for fresher, high quality and important content.

Wednesday

Why You Can be Happier Now

I thought by having a better job, caring wife, better government, or more friends, I'll be happier, but I've confirmed that's not true. Okay it's not wrong to have all these. In fact they are important but they really don't amount to the true happiness in life. I've of late discovered that possessions don't really dictate the amount of happiness in someones life.

You know the wishes we all have ... Huh? I remember wishing to clear-up primary school hoping secondary school life will be great or better. I was wrong, again the high school thing begun to suck, I became tired and wished for time to rash so as to pave way for me to join college and be "happier", but lol...! Even after joining college I was yawning for a better job hoping it will sort my sorrows...

The trend went on and on... One more thing, one more step, more money and so on thinking I'll get happier. It was until I learned to watch my urges and wishes against the reality of life.

So you are not alone in wanting to have everything hoping for more joy, it's a common lie in everybody's mind, but you can compact it. This is how I traced my contentment and I think it'll as well work for you;

#1.Accept the reality of life
All of us fall into the trap of living in some "sort of fantasy" we think it's a MUST to have something extra on top of what we already have so as to enjoy life more. That's not the reality... It just but a common lie. It happens to everybody and at all levels, including those whom you think they have it all.

Once you come to this reality, you automatically overcome the urges. Okay the desires to have more will always pop-up but don't let them overpower you, simply watch them as they subside over-time. 
 
#2.What you don't have could be a burden if you had it
Besides feeling the satisfaction after having what you've craved for a long time, that thing can as well become a burden again. In fact anything that we get yet it was not designed for us, simply becomes a burden.

For instance you may so much want to have two or more lovers... Okay, the truth is, nobody was designed for such -but almost everybody would want that. "Just quoting". The truth is, two lovers are simply a burden to you because you were not designed for that.

...You don't really need to have everything that is advertised on TV to feel happier, in fact having much only increases stress. Teach your heart to understand this, and also learn to rejoice on what you already have because that's what you require for now.

Saturday

How People-Pleasing Habit Breeds Rejection

Rejection is one of the most devastating situation that one can go through in life, it is painful, derailing, horrible and in fact hinders everything that pertains self development. However its has been proved that the attitude of people-pleasing ranks among the top causes of rejection.

How true is this?
Simple...Rejection is a great enemy of the emotions and self-value. It's not really about the physical act. It's about what you expected to be done to you, and when the opposite comes, that when you feel rejected. You do whatever possible hopping to please someone so that they accept and appreciate you, but you get the opposite. 

In simple terms; there is that hidden urge to please people, and it also has its own expectations. Seeking peoples approval on who you are and what you should be only breeds rejection at the end. People pleasing is like a language that only you understands, but hopping everybody should also understand and give you the benefits of approval or acceptance.

The painful truth about the origin of this people-pleasing-urge...

It all began when you were a small child, when they told you that if you don't behave in a certain way daddy will be mad, or mommy will not be happy. Sad, isn't it? -There are better ways to help kids growth socially-healthy other than conditioning them to be people-pleasers.

A rational way to help kids mature socially is advising them based on facts. For instance tell them, "behave well and you'll not get into trouble". See, the subject truth is, bad behavior will lead to painful consequences but not to a mad daddy, or unhappy mommy. This makes a child not to feel rejected by either mom, or dad. Since the subject matter is no-longer mommy or daddy but a consequence after bad behavior.

Don't personalize how people should feel while around you...

The urge to make people happy while around you will always pop-up but don't own it. Simply embrace the fact that you don't need to please everybody to feel secure. The plain truth is, people will always take you lightly or even show signs of rejection when they realize your efforts of being fake just to please them.

Be yourself! And learn to be that while around everybody. See, respect is earned, and it's you to earn it by teaching people your originalism and not how fake you can be just to be liked.

There is nobody behind pushing you to be a pleaser of people. The decision lies right with you. Be mature, polite and mean what you want in life. Stop sending people-pleaser signals, just learn to be your self, learn to say no and to say yes when need be. The idea is, enjoy being yourself-period. Respect, likes and other things will follow although they are not really necessary.  

Breaking The Curse of People-pleasing

The habit of people pleasing may be worse than a curse. It makes a person vulnerable to all kinds of mistreat, traps and misuse. However the truth of the matter is, this habit is one of the easiest to break from. It only requires some decision-making and determination as stipulated here;

#1. Cultivate self-awareness
 
Go back to the roots and analyze the source of this habit. You may be among the people who picked  the people-pleasing habit from childhood as a result of being neglected while you were still young, or maybe you were forced by circumstances in life. Check up what really molded this character in you, and start figuring how you can destroy it.

You can also move a step further by acknowledging the hot-spots where the crave to please people raises at. For instance, it may be around certain people that you want complements from, such as  your spouse, kids, strangers or even worse; your enemies. Be aware of the "people-pleaser-urge-pattern" and where it usually pops from. 

Simply ask yourself what you've gained all along while trying to please those people, and off-course you'll find out, non. In fact the truth is, you'll find a great minus on your character, personality or even material gain in all your people pleasing business. It doesn't earn you anything, but strips your respect off.

#2. Break that strong urge to make everybody around happy

This point can help accelerate your efforts to freedom. Simple; -everytime you "SEE" people, prepare in advance by noting it's not your obligation to make them happy. Everybody has their own life, and it's not your need to tickle them and make them laugh. The world will not fall apart if you just be yourself. And in fact that strong urge to please them is a  highway to feeling rejected soon after you satisfy it.
 
#3. Learn to be yourself

You are a human with decisions and choices to make, and it's important to consider that. It's YOU WHO DECIDES TO BE YOU, don't allow people to decide what they think you should be. Okay, you don't have to be rude, simply know what you want in life and mean it politely. Learn to say no with simplicity, politeness and firmness.

You don't have to give excuses while in the real sense you don't want something, simply say; "no please".  Whether someone feels good or bad,- it's their choice and they should eat of the consequence of their feeling. Sorry, I don't mean you should be rude, but that's how things are - they'll soon catch up with your new character and even like you for your stands.   

Off-course there also will be consequences  on your side: just as there will be even worse consequences to saying yes to everything! A people pleasing attitude only see the first part and forgets the trauma of saying "yes, yes" even to the things you dislike. Simply learn to be yourself, and people will respect you without CHOICE.

#4. Stop the worry of what people might say
 
Everybody has their own brains and they choose what to do with it. One thing is sure, whether they decide to esteem you or reject you entirely depends with you and not them. Aha! Yeap, this is the brutal truth. Respect yourself and they'll have no choice but to respect you. See, in life you are the teacher to teach us about you, not a people-pleaser. So teach people how to treat you and not the vise verser. You are the one who knows the staff you are made of- so, stop depending on people complements for motivation.

Wednesday

Overcome Workplace Rejection Painlessly

I was surprised after realizing that often, rejection is a self inflicted problem. It's commonly an internal problem since it is highly depended on the way we react  once we  face it. In this article I share my real life experience as well show how you can effortlessly overcome rejection completely, whether at the workplace, in the family or anywhere.

Things were not easy with me when I joined a certain construction company to work there. Soon after my workmates realized my potentials, talents and status in life, rejection got its fare share on me. The happiness to share my vision, achievements and all that I was  unknowingly made me a target  for rejection.

Nevertheless, after years of suffering and self realization, I was able to work on my character as it was the key cause of rejection on my life. This could as well be what's causing you to undergo the same.

Below  are the strongest tips that helped me out! 

#1.I learned to listen to myself

It's very important to note that at the workplace not everybody will like your face leave alone what you say. The only door that leads directly to your heat is your mouth, and speaking your heart at the workplace can land you into problems. I used to share my dreams visions, and aspirations only to receive instant rejections from the envious lot.

In fact  anything good about you can be an avenue of rejection. If you are stronger, beautiful, wise, in fact if you appear any better to some people they'll reject  you because of their insecurities. So, better leave your in life with wisdom. Simply gauge what to share and what to keep for yourself. 

#2. I stopped the people-pleasing habit

If you want people to respect you stop trying to please them and be original.  Almost all humans have this principle in common, they'll always like and follow what they don't have. So if you give them more of yourself they'll despise you. In simple terms: DONT GIVE THEM THE WHOLE OF YOU, LET THEM DO THE WORK. Yes, you are beautiful stronger, more educated,ambitions and e.t.c but live your life. Stop trying to show all these to acquire likes.

When people realize you are better than them and at the same time trying to please them, the first response is they'll belittle you and you'll feel rejected . See, don't be apologetic to your beauty, wisdom, height, body-shape, or anything given by nature. These are just status and don't try to sympathies with people who do all they can to pin you down based on such.

#3. Clothing mode

Its necessary to watch over your dressing mode at the workplace. Many people suffer rejection jus because of this. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking people will like us more based on what we wear. Can be true, but for how long! In fact some decent dressers suffer rejection as well. What you wear should be to boost your own thinking and confidence, not what others want to think about you. In fact when they realize you are confident of what you wear they'll have no choice but to love you.

Thursday

Understanding the Language of Your Wife

There is this friend of mine who keeps on asking about the reasons as to why marriages are full of strifes, wrangles, and arguments ... However, I find his questioning strange because he's married and has over ten years experience in the relationship. He say's it hardly passes a day without hiccups, and he wonders if its the case with everybody else.


How lovers turn into enemies over a simple argument is something yet to be discovered by many couples. However ill be honest today and in fact in this very article to explain into details why this happens.

See, we often think that we understand women, but it's very important to note that a WIFE is extremely different from other women especially when she's spending time with the hubby. The chemistry changes when a couple is together, and since they are not conscious of this fact, you find that arguments erupt without any signs nor prior indications.

Wednesday

Cutting Edge Ways to Control Worries in life

Worry is the greatest battle that almost everybody fights, however it's sad that most people loss this battle over and over. I was there, and lost almost every battle that worry offered to me. I am sharing my victory here and hope it'll as well liberate you as well as help you live a worry-free life.

First its important to note that worry comes but through defined medias. There's always something that will cause you to worry and so if you manage to deal with the causes, (as i did and still do) then you'll always overcome all forms of worry. This is what I dealt with;

#1. Stopped people pleasing
I rate this one first because it's what really controlled me. When you want everybody around you to be happy, off-cause you fall into worries all the time. People are people and they'll never fully appreciate your efforts to make them happy. In fact when they note you are a people pleaser they'll USE you to their advantage.

The number one fact that leads to a worry-free life is dropping this people-pleasing-attitude. The bland truth about this attitude is that, it only makes you obsessed for attention hence behaving childish, stupid and unfilled.

#2. Mind My business
It's astonishing how other people can control our lives when when we allow them. We can decided to spend time worried about what will happen to our relatives, friends or even workmates, the government, as well as the bad news allover. Alright, it's true bad things do happen and can happen to our loved ones or even the government but, there is so little we can do to alter the future.

It's more profitable to concentrate with what is within your purpose in this life. Myself I discovered that there will alway be bad things happening and this should not control me. Adopting this and ease your life! Alright, help others if possible but don't try to be God by thinking you can control everything with your worry.

#3. Watch over my mind
The mind will always hoover and present new issues to worry about, something that we've no authority to change. But one fact you can doubtlessly do is choose what to spend time on. It's you to decide on what to think about!

I remember those days when I chose to focus on what I didn't have, things were really bad, and my thinking nearly killed me. See you can choose to think about a dead relative for a whole year -and off-cause expect the consequences! It about choices, the mind will always suggested bad thought as well as good ones but it's upto us to choose what to dwell on.

With this knowledge you can control your thinking, since you know what to expect. Worry is not an accident, it's a choice, you can decide to focus on the good of life and enjoy it! 

Friday

New ways of Coping with Financial Stress

Financial stress is not bad as many people think, in fact if you take it with positivity, it's a type of stress that can be helpful in various ways. It should be an alarm to help you control your spending. The lessons you learn from it can help you ease financial strangles in the longrun.

Why call financial stress a rewarding alarm?
Simple! it helps you understand that something is wrong somewhere in your spending.  Nobody is really caple enough to keep you up-to-date concerning poor spending, in fact even a bank can't do it for you. The only thing capable of helping you balance how you spend, is "financial stress" and this is why you should embrace it. 

Good lessons from financial stress and how one can benefit.

#.Living beyond means
Ensure that you only spend within your brackets of income. Yes, there are lots of popping wants all around which demand to be satisfied, right? Okay, but always remember financial stress awaits you the moment you agree to these demands.

It is like a tickling time bomb you cannot escape. Anything spend beyond what you earn leads to financial stress and that's a fact. Always weight the consequences before spending any extra dime. 

##.Un-fulfilled needs.
Once you are in a constraint it simply means that you'll be unable to quench even the most basic needs. Wich will lead to a life of offsetting debts which you incurred while trying to meet the unavoidable spending.

Overspending simply means sacrificing your daily basic needs in exchange for temporary satisfaction, a thing that should not happen. It's vital to remember this every time you think of throwing and extra coin to a secondary want.

Thursday

How to Easily Achieve Your Dreams in Life

Everyone has a dream and as the saying goes, every dream is valid. In fact we are always surrounded by people who've made it to the heights of their dreams in life. But often the thought of "they are special, lucky or their timing was perfect"tend to cripple the motivation we get from their achievements. However, the only secret that make these dream achievers different from we, is the mind-set.

Yes! It's that simple. The moment you master the art of controlling what you think, that becomes the end of your fears. Fear is the most dangerously known dream-killer in the whole world. We don't go for what we wanna achieve because of fear. Not that we don't have what is required in terms of ability, skills or opportunity. It's all but because of this one and horrifying fantasy called fear. Fear of failure, fear of how people will say, fear of setbacks, fear of pain and so on.  
...So how do we deal with such fears? ... Simple;

#1. Be completely sold to your dream

This means you've got to start living your dream. Simply differentiate between dreaming and real life and transform your dream into real life. An ideal way to begin is by surrounding yourself with those already in it and have achieved some millage in the areas of your interest. Also, read and listen-to what you want to achieve in life, do it as often as possible. In fact make your dream to be part of your real life. Confess, follow and always do it.

#2. Keep the main thing the main thing.

The phrase is simple as it is. Make a priority list and highlight the most important of things to do. You may want to achieve many things in life, but not all of them at once, so do the necessary as much as your dream is concerned. Focus, is the keyword here, avoid distractions that may mislead your attention.

#3. If you are not doing the right thing, you are simply doing the wrong thing.

Get it? It's that automatic. If you wanna gauge yourself, just mind how you spent your time. If the summery of that doesn't match your objectives in life, you simply are either on the wrong truck or you are no-longer working on your dream. Energy is energy whether you are doing the right thing or the wrong thing. In fact you should spend more time thinking positively concerning your dreams in life and off-course least amount of time on the negatives if need be.

Saturday

Top Reasons Why you "can" Remain Single for Long

Being single is not really a mistake, neither should it be taken as a mark of failure on anybody. However, there are somethings which can make a person remain single for a longer period than expected. -The aim of this article is simply to help us reason realistically on this subject of singlehood, and how you can get your partner in a soberly and realistic manner. 

Okay, there are many reasons as to why some people are single, but now the big question is: can singlehood be acted upon or in any way...?  Sure it can! This is an issue of concern in the society today, and there should be solutions to it.  Nonetheless, the best way to tackle this is through analyzing the factors that lead to singleness. So here are some factors that can make you stay single longer than expected, and also how you can avoid them.

Thursday

Husbands and Respect

There is something special that all married men crave for, and that thing is RESPECT. Call it a weakness and you'll still be correct. However, a wise woman should use this "weakness" to build her own house. Respect to your husband is like a charm that evades his heart and transforms the way he sees you as a wife.  

It is essentially a marital need to him, he can barely live without it and only you as his wife can give it satisfactorily. See, men are like big babies when it comes to their needs, they don't know how to hide. Take this to build yourself in him by creating a non-erasable impression of respect right into this mind.

Wednesday

Why your Husband doesn't Appreciate you: WOMEN ONLY!

You wonder what happened, your hubby seem not to notice you in the marriage? While in your mind, you are confident that you are doing everything as expected yet his mind seems to wander far away...? Worry no more! Here are a few facts that you can work on and be sure of positive results.

These are well-researched facts that touch almost each and every marriage life in the world. So be keen to grab your share and save your love life lady!

Understanding your Spouse : Marriage life Simplified

The greatest problem you'll ever encounter in marriage life is lack of understanding. Or in a more simpler term: not knowing the real person you call your spouse. Factually there is no shortcut to this as you ought to know the real "person" in your spouse if you are to stay happy together! Love alone is not enough. Know his or her character, and you can be sure of a successful marriage.

The greatest mistake you can ever do in marriage is thinking your spouse is an angel and he/she should not make mistakes. My, my, this is a common mindset to all of us. We assume they are not permitted to offend us just because we've given them our life. Okay, that should be literally the case but its not possible. Humans are bound to do mistakes and that's one point we must understand

Whom do you Need: Someone to Live with Or Someone you Can't live without: Marriage life Simplified

Marriage is an institution that needs to be nurtured with lots of keenness. What makes this life somewhat complicated is due to the fact that you'll never find a 100percent perfect partner to spent life with no matter how much you search in life. However it doesn't mean you just pick any body and settle with in marriage, No. You must and should do your homework, search for your partner- BUT with a sober mindset. 

Tuesday

Positive Thinking in Marriage: Make it Work Out!

Marital challenges are inevitable and anybody with experience can tell you that. In fact, the issues you go thro has a great essence in shaping your relationship for the better. And in the long run, making life more enjoyable. Factually, it's almost impossible to see the good side of a coin if we're not the bad side, and this is exactly the case with marriage. Its made of two sides. Hence the essence to embrace, acquire and develop a positive thinking mentality if we are to gain from these pains and enjoy life.

First, positive minded people know that life is generally meant to be hard. And the only way to at least enjoy life is to develop your character on how you handle and deal with issues. Simply convince your mind to embrace marital challenges as they are common to everybody. -Let's have a look at a few unchangeable life facts;

Wednesday

How to Earn and Maintain More Friends

Friends are like assets in our life, they can't really be called basic needs but the naked truth is that without them life becomes somewhat boring and tasteless. See, life is all about how you make it, and so you can decide to have more friends (assets) or just a few. You can decide to be rich with assets (friend) or to be poor.

The reason I call them assets is because, other than financial gain there are plenty of lessons we get from friends. When a friend fails, you grasp a lesson, when he/she achieve something you also learn. In simple terms, friends are valuables in our lives. In fact there are important experiences that can only be acquired from the friends in our life.

Practically speaking, if you want to measure the maturity level of someone you can do it by seeing how well he/she earns and maintains friendships. This refers to all kinds of friendships. You can make friends with your teacher, parent, children, spouse, pastor or anybody and this can make your life happier and simpler. 

You can tell the extend to which a married couple has matured by their level of friendship and closeness. A mature couple displays friendliness while together and also while with other people. Same case, friendlier people are simply more mature as they have a sense of wanting to uphold the relationship.

So how can you earn and maintain real friends;

1.Be friendly yourself
Being friendly simply means you have to show some readiness to accept someone to be part of your life. Always be keen at first impressions. Yes, you must wear a nice and welcoming face so as to secure attention from your target. Smile and be gentle since its just the beginning of things. Now after you've to talked and you realize there is future in that encounter, prepare to take it to the next level.

2.Give out Exams
Yap, that's exactly what I mean. You ought to test your new friends to avoid future disappointments. Set things up to exactly know what you can expect from him/her. This doesn't have to be a weighing scale to suggest whether the friendship will go on or not, it's just a scale to let you know what to expect from the friend and how to treat them in different circumstances. For instance a person might be good in other areas but fail when it comes to keeping secretes.

Or he/she could be okay in other areas but prone to getting angry often and fast. You have to study the people around you so as to understand how you can always maintain a peaceful environment. 

3.Expect to see negatives just as positives
We often fail and break friendships because of wrong expectations. We want and expect people to always do what pleases our hearts. This is not healthy, you ought to always be ready for anything from humans, whether good or bad. However, it's good to always consider the relationship more than the wrongs and what you want in the friendship.

4.Accept human nature  
And finally accept that man is to error and the fact that we must live with humans. No short cut! Be friendlier by forging and apologizing when needed to.

Thursday

2 Things you Must drop to Make your Wife Love you More

If you can remember how your relationship started, and keep an account of how you used to treat one another during those loving days, then you'll easily grasp this concept and make your wife love you more than you can imagine. Yes! You have the magical power to transform your ailing marriage.

You've got to ferret out the forces (words) that work against your relationship and use the language that is value adding. Force number one you must drop is;

#1. Usage of Harsh and negative words

All relationships begin with words and mostly sweet words. The truth is, when you were commencing your love life, it was filled with many welcoming and soul-lifting words. You used to tell her things like, "you are my one and only sun in the universe" I don't sleep thinking of you, I feel like going bananas when I don't see you" ha ha ha... And so on. 

3 Techniques to make your husband love you the most.

Love as the most essential ingredient in a relationship must be captivated. It also must be natured to grow and given time to mature. I used to think that loving your spouse is an automatic thing and that it comes naturally. It's no longer the case, life has taught me some wonderful lessons and I've wised up! I come across these 3 hot tips shared with my wife and they work..

#1. Honor

Yap! Easy as it sounds, research has established that men have a great need to be honored in relationships. He just wants you to honor him. He's desperate for it and the perfect person to give it should be you as her wife. Make him your king, treasure his orders even when they don't make enough sense.

The 3 Top Secretes you Must know About your Friends, Spouse, Relative...

It's not recommendable for one to live without friends, they are a necessity that you can't overlook. In fact even the people who pride in having no friends in their life do lie because it is impossible. The fact is, there is always a person to relate to whether it's parents, spouse, relatives, workmates schoolmates and so on. All these should be in your list of friends.

These are important people in your personal life but there are some facts that you must learn to accept so as to ever remain at peace with them. The tips below will help you better understand human psychology in regard to friendships and relationships;

#1.They must talk
Despite the fact that someone is a dearest friend to you, always know that they can speak against you. Yes, that's the nature of mankind, but that doesn't mean that they are not genuine to the friendship/relation! No. It simply means, since people have mouths they must talk (backbite). Never end a friendship simply because someone backbite you. See, even your own mother can backbite you, and that doesn't change her status as a mother!

#2.They Have their own life.
We are sometimes tempted to think that since someone claims to be dear to us, they are obligated to live and do exactly as how we want. We even go to extends of feeling offended when we see them making decision that are against our wish.

For instance you might want a fried to loose weigh just because you dislike a bulky body, only to realize that they even don't bother about. Note: everybody has their life and this should not interfere with your friendship. You can only advise him or her but can never choose the kind of life they want to live.

#3. They are not responsible for our happiness
This is another very important point to note. In fact when I personally came to understand this, I received great relief in my life. See, we often think that since someone is a dear friend, they are responsible to make us as happy as possible every-time they are around.

Whether it's a spouse, mother, father workmate or anybody closer to you, always note that the level of your happiness is determined by you personally and not a friend. See happiness comes from within, it about deciding to be happy even when situations don't allow... Okay?. BIG TIME, as you decided to keep your value adding friends

Wednesday

How to Deal with Negative Minded People without being Negative

Life around negative minded people can be extremely challenging and more so when you don't know how to deal with them. The common traits of a negative minded individual include; ever feeling bored, always seeing impossibilities, easily controlled by situations, selfishness and overlay controlling.

Oops, hope you are not negative minded yourself, but if you find the above traits in your set of behaviors- then this is an opportunity for you to correct where necessary. However if not the following ideas can help out if you leave with individuals. One thing that is irresistible is the fact that we can't completely avoid these so called negative minded folks because they are our relatives, spouse, friends workmates or even neighbours.

The first and most important principle is to understand that these people have "behavioral problems". They are somewhat bound into seeing the negative side of life. Hence no matter what you do, it's a waste of time to try and expect any complement from them.

Another important aspect to note while around such folks is that they are used to being negative. Hence this is part of their lives, so, always accept what come out and put it aside. Don't spent your time waiting for them to change, cause they won't. Live your life and do what you must do. Don't allow the negative feeling control you cause you are not the actual problem. Do what you must do but never allow negative minded people to guide you cause they'll never show you anything good. 
 

Tuesday

Don't Allow your Trust for People Steal your Inner Peace...

inner peace
We all know that there is nobody in this world who is worthy of 100percent trust, yet we sometime find ourselves wanting to trust people for even beyond 1000perncent. This is being unreasonable, and when such a kind of trust backfires, it result to total hatred, pain, disbelieve and even suicidal thoughts. Okay trusting a your marriage partner, friend, father, mother, relative and children is okay but ....

Let's analyse the "but"and see the exact way for measuring the level of trust we ought to offer. Let's open our minds to the truth, which is;

#1. Love yourself fast
Whenever you wanna trust someone, ensure that there is that level of healthy self-love. Don't just give out the whole of your trust to people without considering a "but" in your mind. Or simply; love BUT always be sure that the person you trust can betray you. See, there is nothing you can do about it as nobody is really 100percent dependable. Only GOD! This fact is not meant to destroy your morals but to affirm them. Simply be mature and understand humans rather than being negative

Monday

Want a perfectly happy marriage? Then you Must Give-Up on These 8 Things

Via: quotespics


1. Give up the past 



The past is a gone story and you out to let it go. We so often don't accept to allow the bygone to remain bygones, and this makes us reprimand ourselves and our partners for the mistakes they did. Having the past dominate is completely unfair to a marriage relationship. See, you ought to accept the fact that you cannot change what has happened already. Whether there exists an illegitimate child or abortion story somewhere, all these are bygones and if left to control a marriage relationship, there can never be peace.

Tuesday

Are You Really Wise in that Marriage Life? Here's the 5 Point Truth Meter

wisdom in marriage

Have you ever wondered why some couples seem happier in their marriages despite the fact that marriage life is generally full of hardships, strive and strain? Do you ever ask yourself what makes your marriage not as satisfactory as you want it to be? Or in simpler terms, do you consider yourself to be wise in your relationship with your partner?

See, the stories you here allover the media about "love turned sower", bride kills husband during 8th day of their honeymoon", "husband kills wife or the opposite", or even "pastor compromising his integrity", all these a just a mare reflection of what's going on in today's marriages. Otherwise, there is a bigger problem with relationships and especially marriage life. Okay, let's come to you and me. Whether man or woman, educated or not, you MUST yearn to be WISE if you are to ever enjoy marriage.

Viola! Here, is how to exactly evaluate your marriage life and whether you are playing wise:

#5. WORDS.
Aha! Can you remember your first days when you begun seeing your partner? And, can you try to recall your use of words? Off-course you'll notice a big difference and the thing is, both of you were wise in words usage in those early days. So what happened, why the harshness while talking to your partner.

And in fact if you are keen you'll notice that you go to extends of abusing the once adorable partner. See, marriage life is about growth. The the big question is, have you grown positively on your words usage? Do still call him/her darling, sweetie, dear, sugar or tomato source! If not, you are heading to hell, so please reconsider your ways.

#4. TOUCH
See, being wise simply means handling things the proper way, or dealing with your partner in a smart way so as not to hurt them, offend, or make them feel lonely. To rewind a bit of your life, you can approve that there was a lot of touching, caressing, and hugging during the onset of the marriage life.

This is an automatic form of wisdom given by nature (law of attraction in relationships) , but now the problem is, you never grew it further. If you want to remain wise in your marriage life, you must remain relevant to satisfying the "touch-need" on your partner. 

#3. AFFIRMATORY  WORDS
Do you give words of affirmations to your partner anymore? Okay you think that words of affirmation are no longer important? ... You are dead! ...Oh my am sorry, wanted to tell you that your partner might get that from somewhere illegitimate. I don't mean to be rude by that, all what is there is for you to open your wisdom eyes.

If you want your marriage life to work out then be smart, do what you must do. Tell your partner how beautiful or handsome they are. In fact, import some flattery works and use them as many time as possible in your marriage. Feel and encourage your partner and he/she will consider you important in their well being. 

#2. INTIMACY
This has turned out to be history in marriages"hope not in yours". If you want to know the level of your wisdom, just look at how intimate your relationship is. Oops sorry for being brutally honest, but am helping you! The simple fact is: you managed to be intimate in the fast place or at the beginning of your relationship, ...why not now?. Wake up and do the thing! Keep the fare of love burning and stop complaining.

#1. LIFE FACTS
So fur you ought to have known the different unchangeable facts about marriage life and your partner. Okay, lets shade some light. Marriage fact #1-- you must know that life is short and the only safe way to enjoy it, is in your marriage. #2. It's your responsibility to always satisfy your partner. #3. You have to make things happen if they are to happen.#4. Love is contagious so you must love your partner to get it back. Be wise! 
     

Friday

Do you Exactly Know what makes You Feel Offended...?

Feel offended

He he he ... Wonders ooh! Did you ever know that the people who appear more friendly, and harmless to you are, are indeed the happiest when you are in trouble or a challenging situation? Ha ha ... And this can makes you feel as if the heart wants to burst with rage, the feeling is like someone touching the softest tissues in the neuron system and the message of betrayal is so loud in the brains... So how can you handle such nonsense to avoid the "feel-extremely-offended scar from remaining fresh even after years.

Okay, one thing I want you to understand, is, the feeling is an emotional battle and you have to fight and overcome it. Life is generally about overcoming, you have to learn to leave above human offence. See, you can't really avoid conducts with people that will hurt or offend you, that's almost next to impossible. So the best way is having some necessary tips that will help to always pre-detect the things that has direct and exact power to make you feel offended.

1.Accept to understand people
For one its is important that you understand and accept the fact that people can't help but often offend you. It's in their nature and you have to live with that fact. So no matter how much they try not to offend you but it'll just happen. The best thing is to understand that everybody has their point of view in life and that's the reason for collisions. 

2.Expect
You often feel offended because you've not set your heart to expect it. See, as much as we are humans, cases of one offending another remain part of life. So you have to start practicing the art of letting go. In fact to be wise is to understand people and knowing their both sides. Simply acknowledge that a human being has two sides, the bad and good side. And there can never exist one with only the good side.

3.Know that people do change
Today you could be in very good relationship, everything is well, you think it's heaven and nothing will ever change. That's a lie, and a bad one in fact. Despite how supportive, caring or even sacrificial your marriage partner or friend may seem today, just know they can change any time. The simple knowing of it can help feel less offended when they think otherwise or do something offensive to you.

4.Keep it to yourself
We often think that everybody should and must feel happy for our success, okay that ought to be the case but it's not how things go. There are those including the dearest of heart that will never want your success. In fact what they want is for you to remain in the same level with them or even below. You can simply help your heart by not feeling offended by such folks. Just ignore their compliments and do what you must do. Keep the things you want to achieve as personal and not public agendas.

It's important to note that, the people offending you are themselves trapped in a hurting-mode, confusion or pain. And they are in a way trying to resolve their internal issues. The truth is they actually lurk understanding over their actions. someone with good understanding knows that you can't hurt, offend or cause pain to another person without feeling the same.  

Writing for Google Search to Boost Website Traffic Levels

Writing for Google

Online authors write for various reasons and I just realized a size-able group does it for google search. However, most of them ("and you included") miss a point that's of great essence to meeting your key purpose. That is, they do it without the right calculations, and end up surrendering their website(s) to sink into hell. But for you, don't worry, I'll share right in this post what you can do and henceforth never to worry about your blog traffic levels.

What calculations are we taking about here? ...See, you don't just wright because you have some basic SEO knowledge and expect to get it right! (okay forgive my rather brutal honestly, I just want to help you dear). Optimizing your blog is necessary but that will not  really guarantee you high website traffic levels, you need some simple maths into action. 

The boggling questions that you find yourself asking concerning website traffic levels is common to almost everyone with a blog. And this is why you see SEO companies thrive by trying to answer it. What you don't know is, the answer lies right with you( the website owner). Actually, the need for traffic is a big catch to SEO companies, but the sad news is, the strategies they use are the same on every client. Now the big question is, how do you outshine your competers with "overused tricks"?

They'll claim to make your website appear number one, or even better your googled search but, don't forget they'll do the same or even better to your competitor. Solution: Considering today's competition for traffic levels, its important simply analyze things for yourself before engaging these companies. What I mean is, know that you are in a competition and for your site to stand out, you ought to do what others are not doing.

I have a perfectly working and proven strategy that will help you boost your google search, or simply, this techniques tend to give you power to dictate the traffic levels on your website or blog. I can hear you asking what? Is this guy joking or does he think he's smarter? Okay, let me swallow pride and answer both question,

"The what part" yea, you can dictate over your traffic levels by your writing. What you write has extreme power to create or destroy you. See, besides writing for google search and SEO, ensure that what you write is of required quality. Let your ideas offer real help to the searcher, off-cause you don't want to be like an airport's runaway, where audiences land but immediately take off. That's not productive traffic, ensure that after landing, you clients get something to make them stay around or even come back.

See, you dictate over the level of your website traffic by the quality of information you give. Give a highly needed info and visitors will come to stay, but do the opposite and you get the opposite. Take yourself as a reader and rate your writing, then see if it's offering you any real help. ...Okay, lets go direct to the second quizz...

Being smarter than you: sincerely speaking, you must wear "a smart" attitude if you are to outshine others and scoup a better share of traffic levels for your website. You ought to give reasons to the google-search-robots for it to consider your writings. Its not magic, you have to be smart. Look into, [length of posts, spellings, use of graphics and photos]. Okay? Check into the enclosed bracket before this sentence, ...and finally your prime tip as bellow.  

Here is the technique_ WRITE VERY MANY HIGH QUALITY POSTS. Sounds simple, huh? yeap! Let's crack it, you have 100 blog post which gives you an approximate traffic level of 40 visitors per day, what do you think1000 blog posts will do. Let's take that all these posts are keyword optimized. So if every 100 post gives 40 visitors, therefore 1000 posts equals to 40x10= 80: bare in mind that this is the daily minimum expected traffic level for your website.

So, for 5000 posts you'll have a clean 80x5 = 400 visitors per day. The good thing with this technique is, its not a hype. Am not enticing you with figures, it is a matter of getting what you smartly work for. See, with 5000 SEO written blog post you have an assurance of 400 google searching visitors falling on your pages.

Father prove of this: see, assume you get 1 visitor per post everyday, it means 1x 100posts is 100 visitors. And again:

1 visitor x1000post =1000 visitors
1 visitor x5000post =5000visitors
1 visitor x10,000post =10,000 visitors 
1 visitor x100,000post =100,000 visitors
1 visitor x1000,000post =1000,000 visitors 

See! This is not a hype and am not enticing you dear, the simple logic is, write, write, and write. This what the big websites do, like BBC, FOX,  ABC and the likes do up dates to their website after almost every hour. So, if you ever want to shine as an author writing for google search, why not dictate your website traffic levels by this tip!?

Thursday

Understanding your Marriage Partner

Understanding your Partner
Understanding is among the most essential elements needed to keep a marriage afloat. As you know, all marriage has issues, including President Obama's leave alone that of Prince Williams. It is a school and nobody ever graduates from it. It is naturally designed to have ups, downs, valleys, joy, sad moments, happy times and all sorts of circumstances that exist. With these said, the only thing that will ever assure you of a better and happy marriage is understanding. 

So, what exactly does understanding mean in marriage? Put aside the dictionary and let us be practical! Okay, this ain't rudeness nor arrogance, but there is that word meaning from a dictionary and the real practical version of its definition. See... You can only begin to understand your partner when you totally accept that they are human. So what does being human has to do with how you live with your spouse?

Simple! He/she is destined to do mistakes and act humanely. Nobody can ever afford to live exactly as expected in this world. Humans will always have mistakes and it is our duty and responsibility to accept that fact. Don't spend your life trying to change someone cause you can't. Simply understand and move on. The weaknesses you see in your partner are there to make life "exciting" and wondrous.

Teach your mind to always know that your partner will never be perfect no matter what, and secure your peace. Another important thing to take in is, your partner has nothing to do with the level of joy in your life. Yes, they are there to make you happy but don't forget they also have the same need! You can't really demand someone make you happy cause it's your own responsibility to do it.


Simply understand and accept that your marriage partner may never fully meet your wants in life. And in fact, nobody and nothing in this life can ever fully satisfy you (me and anybody) in this life. Just accept life, and that we humans always want new things in life. Expecting your partner to give joy and happiness 24/7 is simply both unrealistic and unfair. He/she is also human, just as you are, so it's better to understand that life is not always bread and butter. It's also about pains, healing, forgiving and forgetting among others.


To be sincere, this lack of understanding is what makes us think our marriage partner is not good enough. This mindset is somewhat natural but not realist. Simply accept that yourself you are human and you'll always want what you don't have. Get it so far? Don't waste lots of time trying to meet every desire and need in your marriage life. Simply understand and accept your partner's weaknesses and device ways to cope up with him/her.

So how do you devise ways to cope up with your marriage partner? A good question! ... And this is the answer, ...simply "read" his/her likes, dislikes, strong points, and weaknesses. After that, manage all that to ensure peace is what prevails. 

Good relationships are made on the foundations of sacrifice, meaning you have to give away your pride and decide to understand your partner in details.

Wednesday

How to Stay Calm in this Chaotic Life

Cheotic life? Stay calm

Have you ever realized that you can give yourself a holiday even when surrounded by loads of work of work? It's very much possible, you can work under minimal stress even when pressured... For instance, despite the fact that am sometimes extremely busy, I've found a way that makes me more calm and productive in this chaotic life.

See, I call it chaotic simply because, the hustle and bustle of life makes the mind feel as if there is a lot going on around. Okay you maybe in an isolated, less-noisy office but still feel as if it's a stone grinding factory with noise emanating from all directions, just because of how the mind is stressed, and thoughts dis-organized. ...Yes, that is exactly what I mean, you feel stressed by financial matters, family issues, heath, weight issues, appearance, schooling and the likes, such that it's like chaos everywhere.

Not once does this happen, (I believe also to you?) however there is technique I want to share with you right here, its how you can stay calm in the midst of all the hullaballoos of life. Know why I've not yet mentioned it? This is why, the tip is not just like any other idea, in fact its a vital tool that once you incorporate it into your habits, you'll significantly reduce stress in your life. Hope you are now prepared enough to take it in.

ACCEPT, RELAX AND PLAN. Yes, these are the magic words... So, what's there to accept? Possibly not everything but, simply accept that life is how it is. And that you've got to do somethings to achieve a goal, as in; its mandatory to eat healthy foods whether I like it or not, its mandatory to go gym if am to stay fit, I must understand my wife if am to remain peaceful, I must accept to forgive humans if am to remain joyous. See? You have to ACCEPT life's principles to just be "okay"

While accepting how life is and its principles, you'll be allowing your mind and soul to relax right in the middle of all hustles and bustles. And this is know when you should be planning. Plan on what to do to ease or reduce stresses in the various areas of life. If its financial constrains, develope a habit of budgeting for every coin that falls on your hand.

If you're struggling with time management and its giving you stress, the solutions is plan to sleep early in advance. Set a bed time that will allow you to at least have 7 hours of undisturbed sleep every day and you'll automatically be waking up early. And finally, accept what you can't change and lean to cope up-(that is, don't struggle with the past), ...accept the principles of life( that is, you can only achieve what you go for). And as said, relax and plan for everything with simplicity. These simples tips guarantee, a less-stressed life. Big Time!

Monday

How to Smartly Cope with a Teasing Marriage Partner

Irritating partner

It's important to understand that to some people, teasing is uncontrollable. It's habit that they grow up with. In fact it's important that you accept they have a problem. However, the sad thing is, such people don't accept that they need any help. In fact the best thing is to just know it in your heart and device ways to cope with them. Especially in marriage, you must learn to accept your partner if he/she is of this caliber.

It is also necessary to note that they can change as they advance in age, so it could be a temporary habit that you need to cope with. Please note my emphasis: Understand how a "teaser" behaves but don't dwell in their actions. Just know what to expect and how to cope up, but don't spent your life trying to change a person. So, what's there to expect from such a character;

#1. Irritating questions
A teasing marriage partner asks questions just to irritate you, they do it on purpose to control your emotions and reactions. So if you are hot tempered, its easy to do regrettable things. He/she will ask you questions with obvious answers, just to ignite you. SOLUTION to this: Since you know what they want and where they are going, don't light up, don't allow your feelings to be manipulated.

This is achievable by calmly answering the question using the fewest words possible. Don't resist the poke, just shift the subject with snakish wisdom. ...See, if you suspect some sort of manipulation, don't allow your emotions to be hijacked since it may lead you into stress. Work smart and avoid issues!

#2. Bad Looks
Have ever realized that you can be negatively teased by a bad look? In fact this is very pron in most marriages. And just to be brutally honest, wifes do it best( although even men give irritating looks). Without this knowledge you may assume that your partner is not good, or has started some sort of hatred towards you... See, as earlier mentioned, most of "teasers" don't even have a clue that they are irritative. What they are trying to do is passing a message of what is in their heart.

May be he/she dislikes an idea but since they don't know a honorable way to deliver the message, you may see extreme disapproval on the face. SOLUTIONS: Don't look at the actions, just understand that its their way of disagreeing. If you concentrate on the face you'll feel not appreciated. Accept that he/she has their own to express choice. So, if you can execute the idea without causing strives in the marriage life, go ahead!

Okay, there are many real life examples that can be given solutions to, but the most important thing is having the idea on how you can smartly cope with a teasing partner in marriage. Simply have a pre-thinking session with yourself and workout how you can manage things smartly.  

Tuesday

Kill for Love??? -Coping with Marriage life Stress

Cope with marriage stress

From the beginning of this year, stories about lovers killing their spouse, children and themselves have littered the media and all these has directly been linked to cheating. It has raised lots of concern about how really should one handle such like marriage life stress that can prompt murder. Actually cheating is a very serious offence, just like any other issue in marriage. In fact almost any kind of mistake can cause diverse effects in a marriage life if not well handled.

It is extremely vital to have necessary information on how you personally can cope with marriage life and especially when issues come up. Things about love are not taught anywhere in the curriculum despite the fact that they directly influence our lives bumper to bumper. You can't separate love from this life, meaning it's not really good to live single . With this in mind, the best way out is knowing how to cope when things go sower. That is, when stress creeps into your marriage. Lets begin with handling cheating in a marriage.

Whoa, yes, I just mentioned "handling cheating in marriage"and please don't stop reading down because nobody is special, you may think this is not for you, but remember nobody really wants such to happen in their lives. Now the big question is; what will you do if it does, and what if it happens to a friend- what advice will you offer. You don't want to hear more atrocities happening to families? So please let's help each other.

Nobody is strong enough to handle a cheating spouse, but a sober advise can help out. So what's this special that can help you out? ...Simple: understand that your partner is a human being and she/he is a sinner just like everybody else. Show your love to your spouse but don't expect to get a 100percent return of it. Or in simple terms, love but know that he/ she can do anything. And anything means anything.

It is okay, to fully trust your spouse, but it is important to be wise and know we are living in a fallen world, and there is deception everywhere. Look at the way media advises the society, ...life has turned out to be about; who is more sexy, more handsome, who has most admirers, who is what and all sorts of fantasies and destroy good morals.

All these deprive the moral fabric and there is so little you can do to control your spouse from conceiving these misleading illusions. They are allover and in fact they're forcing their way into our minds. While traveling you see adverts of naked people promoting products. On TV,hardly a minute passes by without a confusing advert and so on and forth...

There is no need to take someone's life when you find they are cheating on you. Just look for a less risky solution that will not put you into colliding with law. So if the issue cannot be resolved, just leave them or seek for separation(divorce if need be, though it's not the best option).

Simply understand that what they've done is a costly act and life has a way of punishing that. They cannot escape the wrath of mother nature, their conscience will never allow them to rest no matter what, only God can sort then out in terms of giving peace. May this never happen to anyone reading this. Big time. 

Thursday

Does Everybody really have Problems Like You? - :Fear V's stress in life

Fear vs stress

You may wonder to realize that everybody around you go through the same mental strives and stress as you do. We all have pressing issues and that's inevitable, irregardless of age, economic status, level of education, kind of religion and environment we come from, nobody can claim to be immune to life problems. Up and downs are simply a gift by mother nature to all of as.

Knowing that everybody has their own issues should ease the pressure of stress you feel in life. Accept that live is designed to be that way and you'll have brighter days ahead. Moreover, knowing how to handle fear in life is a great skill that can help reduce worry and make you better while dealing with what you have to deal with.

Note this: Everybody fears what the future holds, fear of reputation, fear of loosing a family member through death, fear of infidelity in marriage, fear of financial instability, fear of speaking in public, fear of failure, fear of success, and so on and so forth. All these are things things that have great power to induce stress in a life.

Can fear be avoided, or you ask, dear writer do also feel scared by these "life-hot-lines"? Oh, the answer is yes... Am also human, and can't deny that. However, Over the years I've learned to deal with fear and stress in life. I realized that fear breeds stress and that most people, me included, fall into the trap. A simple thing like how people think of you can crash your heart, leave alone being shamed on TV by a bunch of cruel journalists.

See, you may find yourself spending lots of time try to impress everybody just because you fear how your image is published in another person's mind. Okay, it not a bad thing, but, why allow that to steal your self-confidence?. Fearing people will only make you a helpless "people-pleaser," you become a slave to those people's interest. And you may not be able to do what's really required by nature.

In fact fearing people is like locking yourself into jail of pleasing the people around. This may makes you change your behaviour and appear controllable to everybody including those who are weaker than you, just as one president puts it; "fear will make your weak enemies feel tempted to scare you."

However even with that saying, even the same president is faced with fears on a daily basis. And since nobody is special, here is what will help you deal with all the fears in life. It's a perfect and working technique that you don't need to buy. Simple: accept and work on fear. So how do you do that?

The fast step to deal with a fear that brings stress in life is analyzing it. Don't run away from it, but try to be sober. If you fear how people take you concerning your weight, -is it a healthy form of fear _or a destructive one. Is the fear pushing you to improving your health or discouraging. Weigh the fear, and if you find it possibly helpful, embrace it for the benefic of your inner being - not purposely to please people.

Then there is this fear of failure, this a bad and destructive form of fear as it makes you feel scared of trying. It's a kind that wants you to give-up. Don't embrace such a fear, just analyze it and seek for way to encourage yourself. To wipe it off, you can deep your mind into inspirational staffs such as quotes or motivational books.

And finally, there is the fear of things that you can't control. This is a very dangerous form of fear as it easily breeds stress and has also affected a larger population. It's the fear of the past, future and death. It not easy to control what happened, what will happen and the type of death that will come your way.

We are all blind of tomorrow and we should accept that. The only solution to this is to accept that we are humans and that we are temporary in this world. Also, make the mind understand that, what is gone is gone, future is privilege and the only way to influence it is doing what we ought to do everyday. Fear is natural but you have the power to control the amount of stress it tries to bring in your life.     

Tuesday

Is Pride Related to Stress in life?

Stress vs pride

Factually speaking, pride ranks as the highest source of stress in life, this is because it's a mind issue just as stress is. So as to get things clearer, let's get the actual meaning of the of the word stress and how is it linked to the strives you experience in life. We'll also check how you can control the stress that steals peace and healthy mindfulness from your daily life.

Stress is a situation whereby the mind gets stuck into a state of worry. The worry comes fast and inhibits how the mind deals with thoughts and fantasies, so that it's ability to solve issues is suffocated. Now, how does pride comes in? See, pride is an inordinate perception of things. It lies to your brain that life should be this and that. And if fully allowed, pride will control your feelings and quality of life.

Pride wants big things to happen, life to run smoother, issues to solve quickly and life to just be wonderful. See, pride will propose this to the brain, and the brain accepts them. However, if things don't go as the per this proposal, that's where worry creeps in and stress follows. And that's why you'll see a financially stable fellow stressed yet they have what the poor admires and think is medicine to stress.

Stress only comes in when you don't get something that you thought you deserve. Otherwise you can't worry over something that you surely know, understand and actively perceive it's a privilege. Now, here are the 2 most ideal way to deal with worry in life, and prevent it from being converted into stress:

#1.Understand what demands to go for and what not to dwell on.
Okay, it is good to fast understand that there is a healthy level of stress in life, and that can't be avoided. This is one that makes us solve issues in our environment. But there is another stress that hacks the brain functioning and makes it somehow retarded. All these,(healthy stress and unhealthy stress) comes as demand signal from feelings, physical needs and economic demands.

It is important that you learn to analyze the demands in your mind(thoughts), what to dwell on and what to shed-off and move on. Don't allow to be hijacked by any passing by thought that crosses your mind in form of pride. Always remember, feelings can create "needs". NOTE: I put "needs" in quotes because they are actually fake needs (in fact this is pride in form of needs), that only come to trouble and stress you up.

For instance, you could be having a severe flu, but your mind proposes that you should get well immediately...Solution: make it aware that healing or getting back to normal is a process, don't embrace the idea but follow experience of things, and how they usually happen.

#2. Deal with fear
The problems that stresses you (also everyone and me included) are born from fear( and fear is another expression of pride...!) want to know how? Simple, we all fear to fail, fear of what people think of us, fear of loosing weight, fear of the weather, fear of rearing children, fear of passing or failing exams, fear of, fear of, and fear of... All these kinds of fear create worry that gives birth to stress in the long run.

So how can one deal with fear? It's a good question that almost everybody in this world would want an answer. However, the answer is simple and just within reach for everyone: simple: define your fears.

See, you cannot avoid fear since it's a natural mechanism that helps to keep us vigilant, all you should do is embrace and define it's purpose. For instance fear of failure simply means you are proud and not ready to be low, fear of what people think, simply means we think we are more special (unrealistically) and therefore not ready to take up criticism. Which means that pride, right-away invites stress.

So every time you feel stressed, just know that it's because you are not ready to accept a situation. You are fighting with pride and it makes you think and feel that things are not alright. It important to note that we can't control everything and that life is generally painful to everybody in this world. Improve on what you can, change situations if you can but don't stress around doing nothing. And if there's completely nothing do for a situation, persevere and concentrate on what important in life.    

Thursday

How to Develope your Emotional Intelligence Rapidly

Develope emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is now one of the most valued skills in the society today, people who've mastered this, fall into the lucky lot of easily getting favors from all arenas of life. Be it at the work place, family set up, and anywhere where leadership is involved, they are the most preferable candidate.

It is the topmost character trait that adds value to an individuals potential and capabilities. This type of intelligence can make you sit, mingle and associate with people without denting your integrity and social image. And that's why its important to rapidly develope emotional intelligence, and make it part of your personality.

So what is emotional intelligence? ...It refers to the ability to decently manage your emotions while dealing with yourself and other people. Those with this skills record high productivity at the work place, better handling of issues in the family, and outstanding relationships in the society at large. It is a learn-able skill but to a few individuals, it comes naturally.

All research papers that have so far been conducted show that emotional intelligence ranks way higher beyond intellectual intelligence when it comes leadership abilities and productivity. In fact these allegations are practicably correct, and even a simple example right here can prove it to you. Okay, lets see one example, a highly tempered boss is more likely to increase stress onto his workforce hence reducing productivity. The way such a manager expresses his/her feelings will have a direct impact on the social relations in the company and may hinder the development of other important skills suck as team work.

Factually speaking, developing your emotional intelligence adds value to your personality and it can open doors that even good academic papers can't. The skill makes you a better manager and in fact it enable you to manage people and situations better than those with higher educational background. So how can one learn this skill in a more rapid or accelerated tone?

Okay here are the practicle answers that definitely guarantees you success for developing your emotional intelligence;

1.)Following footsteps of those who've got it
Identify the people around you, measure their emotional intelligence by how they react on both their feelings and those of others. Now since your want to develope your personality, take time to learn from those with higher social intelligence. Ape their way of tackling anger, work-pressure and discouraging occurrences. Naturally everyone would like to have this skill but those with persistence always adopts it very rapidly. And the good thing is, the skill is contagious. 

2.)Stay around people with higher emotional intelligence.
By surrounding yourself with such people, your chances of sharpening your social skills increase by 79percent. Reason being, humans are designed to adopt to the confining environment. In fact this is a great way, and I can guarantee it will work for you.

3.)Reading books along that line
Load your brain with literatures about emotional intelligence. Go for the books and websites that cover the topic to allow it sink into your brain. While doing this, it is good to understand the worth of having this skill and it will definitely accelerate your ability to capture the idea.

4.)Ask feedback
Pick some friends that you know can be brutally honest with you, and ask them to rate you in terms of emotional intelligence and self-control. Don't shy off if they rate your lowly but purpose to develop your persona alongside this skill based on the feedback. You can consider people like your marriage partner, workmate, schoolmate, dom-mate or anybody who's closer and familiar with your behavior. It is easier for people who already know you to measure and recommend on your progress than newer friends.

5.)True commitment of putting new knowledge into action rapidly
Value the importance and necessity of getting higher emotional intelligence and work for it. Spare reasonable time on daily basis to evaluate your commitment for converting the new knowledge into your personality. This is simple, and can be achieved within a short time, since you just need an extra sense of monitoring and nurturing your emotions.

...To just be frank with you, I have realized that my journey to developing a stronger, stable and higher emotional intelligence is more rewarding than running after intellectual intelligence. It adds more happiness to life, family and has also opened doors that academic papers could not. To sum it all, the skill is just amazing!

Tuesday

Proven Techniques that Work

1. Sleep early to wake up early
2. Love to be loved
3. Show mercy to receive mercy
4. Acknowledge to be acknowledged
5. Make others happy to be happy.

Coping with Stress:

Stress is a choice you can always reject!

Coping with Stress: Pure and Proven Techniques that Works for Anybody

Cope with stress

Aha! You must have come across lots of headlines that promise ways for coping with stress especially in this current financially constrained world. But, the brutal truth is, you know these things, only that they aren't sensitive enough in your subconscious to help you effectively deal with stress. Yes, I mean that! You have all it takes to rule and cope with stress at all areas of your life.

These techniques Am sharing out here are top notch! And will help you reduce your dependency on people like marriage counselors, stress counselors and the so called life management counselors. Coping with stress is an adaptive mechanism that once you master it, everything becomes clearer in your mind. You understand when to cry and when to move forward, what to worry about, what you can't change, what needs attention, when to let go, and what to let go.

Lets take a real life example... We all go to sleep, okay? So why should you sleep yet there is no guarantee that you'll wake up the following day? See, you don't care about waking up, yet sleeping is just like being half dead. When asleep, anything can go wrong, the house can burn down through an electric fault, someone might suffocate you, the thieve might come... but all these cannot bar you from falling asleep! See...? Aha this is the reason, your brain is adopted to not care about it, otherwise you won't ever dare risk to close an eye.

Let's be more open and realistic, when served with a meal either at home or in a restaurant, you don't send the food to the lab to be tested for possible poisoning... In fact the pangs of hunger wouldn't even allow that, the brain automatically turns on the don't care button" and off course this works under normal circumstances. It's an automated body functioning that inhibits worry and so you can easily cope with such a stress.

What makes us not care about the obvious is adaption. Or in simpler terms, it is because the brain got used to dealing with such worries. Lets highlight another top example, a small baby get's worried when trying to walk. Practically the baby will see people walking but still worry about its safety when learning to walk upright. On the other hand, the same baby is not stress but seen laughing when tossed into the air by the father. Why? the baby's mind is still learning to cope with what really matters. 

This is what happens even to us adults, we worry and are stressed with things that don't really matter. We take lots of time time stressing and worrying about tomorrow, what will happen to the government, about the medical report, losing wait, gaining weight and so on, yet we don't take any action to either counter the happening or control what needs to be controlled. We simply take lightly the things and actions that can help us cope with the lingering stress. We avoid to play our part.

The body has its own way of coping with stress, but the problem comes in when we practically interfere with its process. Want to know how? Okay let's be practicle... You sleep late, you sleep with lights on, you spent so much time trying to please others rather than paying attention to being mindful etc. Lacking mindfulness in your daily routine can make you fail to effectively cope with the stress of life.... See my tactics bellow.

I use these principle and they've helped me to effectively cope with stress in life;
1) Accepting that life is generally unfair
2) Plan my day ear enough to avoid confusion that can bring strain
3) Sleep early to wake up early
4) Avoid people who try to devalue my morals
5) Say no when it's necessary and I don't regrate it

Okay, am not perfect and don't wish to be, so am not bragging because of my hard learned habits for coping with stress. I am just trying to share an experience that can make your life more happier.... And on top of it all, learn to be mindful in everything you do, rather than creating avenues that breed stress. Big time.

Thursday

How to Overcome Emotional Hijack in Marriage and Reduce Stress

Emotional hijackEmotional hijack is not a new thing in any marriage, it's something that occurs and can come up anytime. For clarity, lets first get the actual meaning of this term and how it directly relates to marriage; emotions -refers to feelings, hijack- means, apprehend illegally. When the two meanings are combined you get: feelings apprehended illegally This hijack of feeling happens in the brain, and it can lead to divorce or increased stress in a marriage. 

Actually what breaks marriages are simple issues that make partners irrational on their intended action. Practically, you'll see many people regretting their action because they can't associate with it. You argue with your partner over a petty issue and a fight breaks up, and it, not a fight, you or your partner flees away from the relationship. But then after sometimes you both realize the action was not worth the occasion.

It's hard for anybody who has ever been in a serious relationship to deny having gone through emotional hijack. The biological term for this is Amygdala hijack, a mechanism of the body designed for protection from a dangerous situation ( fight or flight). However, despite the fact that the mechanism is often meant for good, it can be misinterpreted by the brain during a quarrel in marriage. This occurs because of lacking the knowledge to tame the situation. Often you may think that you have a serious problem with your partners when the hijack strikes.

So can you overcome emotional hijack and reduce stress in your marriage? Sure!... It's very easy with the bellow techniques;

#1. Be prepared
Emotional hijack in marriage

See, just having the knowledge that emotional hijack is a biological mechanism and not a weakness, helps you to overcome it. And since you already know life brings stressing situations, it's important to pre-set your mind for such hijacks. This will make it is easy to know when your rational brain is illegally apprehended for dangerous action. You don't want to take actions that will cost you, in the long run, so be prepared to rationally solve issues during misunderstanding in the marriage.

#2. Take 3 deep-in-and-out-Breaths

Taking a firm deep breath will help to disconnect the charge of amygdala hijack (emotional hijack). As said earlier, emotional hijack is an auto-functioning mechanism that triggers immediate action to either fight or flight. However, a deep breath conquers all. So even when pressured and the mind is blank, there is always a chance to a least take 5 first breaths before action. And in fact this will save your marriage from un-intended actions and reduce the stress. 


#2. Know yourself

Check on your anger management skills, do you burn quickly or slowly, and what actions do your emotions lead you to, when emotionally hijacked? Or in simple terms, be aware of yourself. For instance if you quickly burn with anger its good that you avoid arguments in your marriage. Also let your partner know of you anger management ability and request for their help. Your partner can help to remind you when you feel like doing something stupid that can cost the marriage.


#3. Know your partner

Off-course this is the opposite of #2., it's important that you understand the emotional behaviour of you partner when he/she is under pressure. For example there are people who when hijacked emotionally, the first thing they want to do is commit suicide, divorce, withdrawal or such like things.


Know the true emotional color of your partner in the marriage, don't just assume they are bad, or not understanding, but dig dip into analyzing their emotions. This will help reduce the stress of wanting to change your partner to suite your box. It will also help you to run out of their way when they are emotionally hijacked, and that can save you marriage.

#4. Avoid grudge or trending stress

Get rid of any stress that's been trending in your heart. Yes, all marriages have stress of their kind, but don't allow grudge to settle in your marriage. For your information, any emotional hijack brought by grudge can be extremely harmful in a relationship. Its dangerous than death, just to describe it. ...Okay, may be your partner did something that you can't forget, but take this as the past, don't let it take any part in the hijack.


With all above, it's likewise important that your partner know of emotional hijack and that such a thing exists. It's a natural thing in life, but research has fully confirmed that it is manageable. The only requirement to overcoming dangerous results of amygdala hijack is knowing of its existence and functioning mechanism, and this will also wipeout stress in your marriage. Please share this post, it can save a marriage. Show responsibility over the well being of families. God bless you!