[Updated on 7/6/2018 to help the wife in resolving her “ungrateful wife” attitude, see the update after the original article in italics]
Factually this is not the first time you are coming across the term “ungrateful wife” it’s a fact in the real world, but the big question is often, what makes her ungrateful?
What leads your once loving sweetheart to take you as a mere kid who needs to be shouted upon? What causes her to despise your efforts in the running of the family? What made her the ungrateful wife you see today?
These are very serious questions and they all need perfect answers. However, there is a great possibility that the answers lie right under your actions.
It is true that the master ought to be respected, but are you a good master, leader, protector, caregiver as you ought to be? Let alone your efforts for feeding the family, you may be earning a good salary hence providing material supplies to her, but she’ll still call you “bitch” (sorry to mention that but it’s true).
The problems you hear in all marriages are often created by ignorance. Could be, you just decided to brand her “ungrateful wife” not considering the important factors that may have contributed to the behavior.
So how can you deal with an ungrateful wife?
Read the simple fact and steps below and you can be sure of saving your marriage:
1. Be the expected husband
There are natural expectations which your wife demands her heart that you meet. If you fail, this is when she considers driving her point home by nagging, name calling or even violence.
There is no better way to escape what she expects from you other than wise “submission”. Other than withdrawing and tagging her: ungrateful wife, listen to what she wants from you and if you cannot manage to meet her target, try to explain it out.
Other than putting her off …you may not control her mouth once she realizes you are ignoring her.
Are you giving enough emotional security to her? See, there is a concrete reason as to why she’s become an ungrateful wife you dislike. Women are naturally insecure and security is one among their priority needs.
An insecure wife shows the vacuum by being disrespectful to the hubby, and in solving this you may change her attitude. Let her know there are no other women competing with her for you and you can allow that.
Be the loving “master,” and tell her all will be well even if you are not sure.
3. Train her your way
How do you want her to behave, tell her using the words of wisdom …Don’t force things to happen your way because she’ll also be doing the same against your wish.
Create a democratic environment (not an extreme one) and let her learn how hard it is to deal with an ungrateful wife. The idea is using wisdom, don’t let her directly know she annoying, but create an environment using sweat words and she’ll conform to your way.
Regardless of how modern the society turns, the husband will remain the head of the family and that is why he has that influence to alter the wife’s attitude So, instead of dwelling on “my wife is ungrateful,” the husband should focus on how to make her see it without sparking arguments.
Research says that women are more of incubators, and this begins from their minds, see video:
The practicality of this concept is seen in how nature has designed everything – and a good example is this: the man gives the seed (as sperm) and the wife incubates it in the womb to form the baby- how long does the seed stay in the womb? 270 days and sometimes more!
The Principle of Nature
But way before that, the fertility cycle principle is that the ovaries (or female eggs) can only be fertilized at a specific time period in a month mostly between day 14 and 21 from her previous menstrual cycle. Contrary to a man’s seed which is ever ready to impregnate anytime.
This is also how the brain of a wife works. She will always incubate what the husband provides and bring it forth… but mark you it takes close to 39 weeks or 9 months to get the baby or “the finished product out!” So it would definitely take sometimes to help change your wife’s ungrateful attitude.
Plant the Seed!
Are you faced with an ungrateful wife? You can train her to be appreciative by fast planting the seed of gratefulness into her mind. You are the head (and therefore “hands down” her brain).
The wife is the neck and logically, the neck will always follow where the head decides to go. In other words, are you appreciative of what she does in the marriage yourself and are you sending that signal?
Role of the Wife in the Matter
Many readers have sent us messages asking what the part for the wife in this is, and how she should resolve her unthankful attitude in the relationship.
While this is a matter that can be handled best with your marriage counselors because it may require questioning her why she thinks that route is viable, the man can very practically initiate solutions without really having to involve a marriage therapist.
The idea is, first your wife may not even know that she is ungrateful. Could be that the trait is part of her set of behaviors, maybe an extension from her childhood response mechanism.
Character and behavior experts tell us that children learn how to respond emotionally from their environment, either from their parents, guardian or from their peers (mostly during their early days of school,) that’s how she ends up with those signs of ungrateful wife.
So yes, the wife is ungrateful, but what if the behavior was adopted from her early childhood environment, is it not more caring to try to redirect her from the wrong course she has been all along? As in, help her know how her attitude is affecting you and the relationship in general.
The first thing is, make your woman understand that her being the ungrateful spouse is threatening the peace in the marriage. As stated earlier, the behavior could be so ingrained that she doesn’t know it’s hurting the people she is supposed to love.
A good example is a piece I read of a wife admitting that she later realized that she was that lazy ungrateful wife after realizing her hubby was sort of being stressed out by her conduct.
It all happened that they took their marriage problem to a marriage counselor and it was the therapist who pointed out to her the vice, she never realized before. Mind you, she was so sorry after understanding how her character has been vexing everybody, and now she keeps herself in check by reading ungrateful wife quotes to have the perspective others have towards such an attitude.
Second, define it for her. Be grateful and let her know that you are doing that on purpose. And as said, you will be planting this into her mind. Your wife is supposed to follow your vision for the relationship and if that is not automatic with her, then tell her respectively, but firm.
Bring a simple gift like a bunch of flowers and tell her that you would like her to say thank you as that would make you satisfied. Have her kiss or hug you even if you two have been married for 50 plus years. The idea is, these small things like a hand kiss, forehead kiss or a wink don’t get out of fashion, in fact, they spice up your marriage life.
Do you have other ways we can tackle this problem? Let’s help guys who say my wife is ungrateful, or unappreciative? Or, share your mind about the matter in the comment section below, but please make it value adding!