Ungrateful Wife: 3 Perfect Ways on How to Deal with Ungrateful Wife

ungrateful wife
Source: pixfeeds
Deal with ungrateful wife

Source: world9.tv

[Updated on 7/6/2018 to help the wife in resolving her “ungrateful wife” attitude, see the update after the original article in italics]

Factually this is not the first time you are coming across the term “ungrateful wife” it’s a fact in the real world, but the big question is often, what makes her ungrateful?

What leads your once loving sweetheart to take you as a mere kid who needs to be shouted upon? What causes her to despise your efforts in the running of the family? What made her the ungrateful wife you see today?

These are very serious questions and they all need perfect answers. However, there is a great possibility that the answers lie right under your actions.

Her Nagging…

ungrateful wife

Source: rejuvage.com

It is true that the master ought to be respected, but are you a good master, leader, protector, caregiver as you ought to be? Let alone your efforts for feeding the family, you may be earning a good salary hence providing material supplies to her, but she’ll still call you “bitch” (sorry to mention that but it’s true).

To prove the above statement, see how many wealthy homes break. Yes, money has its own important role in a marriage but it is not everything.

The problems you hear in all marriages are often created by ignorance. Could be, you just decided to brand her “ungrateful wife” not considering the important factors that may have contributed to the behavior. 

So how can you deal with an ungrateful wife?

Read the simple fact and steps below and you can be sure of saving your marriage:

1. Be the expected husband

There are natural expectations which your wife demands her heart that you meet. If you fail, this is when she considers driving her point home by nagging, name calling or even violence.

There is no better way to escape what she expects from you other than wise “submission”. Other than withdrawing and tagging her: ungrateful wife, listen to what she wants from you and if you cannot manage to meet her target, try to explain it out.

Other than putting her off …you may not control her mouth once she realizes you are ignoring her.


Are you giving enough emotional security to her? See, there is a concrete reason as to why she’s become an ungrateful wife you dislike. Women are naturally insecure and security is one among their priority needs.

An insecure wife shows the vacuum by being disrespectful to the hubby, and in solving this you may change her attitude. Let her know there are no other women competing with her for you and you can allow that.

Be the loving “master,” and tell her all will be well even if you are not sure.

She may be the breadwinner or one earning higher than you, or even much more educated- but you should still be there to provide the way. For you to brush away the “ungrateful wife” personality in her, you must be relevant even when she asks you the obvious questions. Answering correctly will help to mold her attitude.

3. Train her your way

How do you want her to behave, tell her using the words of wisdom …Don’t force things to happen your way because she’ll also be doing the same against your wish.

Create a democratic environment (not an extreme one) and let her learn how hard it is to deal with an ungrateful wife. The idea is using wisdom, don’t let her directly know she annoying, but create an environment using sweat words and she’ll conform to your way. 

The update:

Regardless of how modern the society turns, the husband will remain the head of the family and that is why he has that influence to alter the wife’s attitude So, instead of dwelling on “my wife is ungrateful,” the husband should focus on how to make her see it without sparking arguments.

Research says that women are more of incubators, and this begins from their minds, see video:



The practicality of this concept is seen in how nature has designed everything – and a good example is this: the man gives the seed (as sperm) and the wife incubates it in the womb to form the baby- how long does the seed stay in the womb? 270 days and sometimes more!

The Principle of Nature

But way before that, the fertility cycle principle is that the ovaries (or female eggs) can only be fertilized at a specific time period in a month mostly between day 14 and 21 from her previous menstrual cycle. Contrary to a man’s seed which is ever ready to impregnate anytime.

This is also how the brain of a wife works. She will always incubate what the husband provides and bring it forth… but mark you it takes close to 39 weeks or 9 months to get the baby or “the finished product out!” So it would definitely take sometimes to help change your wife’s ungrateful attitude. 

Plant the Seed!

Are you faced with an ungrateful wife? You can train her to be appreciative by fast planting the seed of gratefulness into her mind. You are the head (and therefore “hands down” her brain).

The wife is the neck and logically, the neck will always follow where the head decides to go. In other words, are you appreciative of what she does in the marriage yourself and are you sending that signal?

Role of the Wife in the Matter

Many readers have sent us messages asking what the part for the wife in this is, and how she should resolve her unthankful attitude in the relationship.

While this is a matter that can be handled best with your marriage counselors because it may require questioning her why she thinks that route is viable, the man can very practically initiate solutions without really having to involve a marriage therapist.

The idea is, first your wife may not even know that she is ungrateful. Could be that the trait is part of her set of behaviors, maybe an extension from her childhood response mechanism.

Character and behavior experts tell us that children learn how to respond emotionally from their environment, either from their parents, guardian or from their peers (mostly during their early days of school,) that’s how she ends up with those signs of ungrateful wife.

So yes, the wife is ungrateful, but what if the behavior was adopted from her early childhood environment, is it not more caring to try to redirect her from the wrong course she has been all along? As in, help her know how her attitude is affecting you and the relationship in general.


The first thing is, make your woman understand that her being the ungrateful spouse is threatening the peace in the marriage. As stated earlier, the behavior could be so ingrained that she doesn’t know it’s hurting the people she is supposed to love.

A good example is a piece I read of a wife admitting that she later realized that she was that lazy ungrateful wife after realizing her hubby was sort of being stressed out by her conduct.

It all happened that they took their marriage problem to a marriage counselor and it was the therapist who pointed out to her the vice, she never realized before. Mind you, she was so sorry after understanding how her character has been vexing everybody, and now she keeps herself in check by reading ungrateful wife quotes to have the perspective others have towards such an attitude.

Second, define it for her. Be grateful and let her know that you are doing that on purpose. And as said, you will be planting this into her mind. Your wife is supposed to follow your vision for the relationship and if that is not automatic with her, then tell her respectively, but firm.

Bring a simple gift like a bunch of flowers and tell her that you would like her to say thank you as that would make you satisfied. Have her kiss or hug you even if you two have been married for 50 plus years. The idea is, these small things like a hand kiss, forehead kiss or a wink don’t get out of fashion, in fact, they spice up your marriage life.

Do you have other ways we can tackle this problem? Let’s help guys who say my wife is ungrateful, or unappreciative?  Or, share your mind about the matter in the comment section below, but please make it value adding!   

Readers Comments (17)

  1. Sure, you are to love her and teach her, so yes, “the husband is responsible for the behavior of the wife… It's her right, and should be granted…

  2. "The husband is responsible for the behavior of the wife"
    A good way to shy away from taking responsibility of your actions and blaming your spouse.

  3. Well, I sensed some bias reading it. But sounds like good advice to those who really care.

  4. Yes, be the man! And be smart because she is the weaker partner. As in, take your wife as your own child and teach her how you want her to behave. You know she gives you… don’t you?

  5. Hey man, you’ve nailed it. teaching men how to deal with an ungrateful wife is so smart of you because you are helping families to stay intact. Yes, the wife can be unappreciative but that may also depend on her moods. Off cause, there are those days when she is grateful for you, and the family so it’s not a constant attitude.

  6. I agree Wtf my wife don't do dishes washing and cleaning the house anymore She does not even say thank u anymore

    She will once a week do something and that's it

    It's a 50/50 relationship not a one way

    I have to engage a marriage counselor to talk to her now, maybe we will resume our happy life.

  7. I agree. The article is very insightful, the husband should love the wife sacrificially.

  8. my wife has everything. a big home, 3 beautiful children, doesnt have to work, no worries about money, a loving "normal" happy husband and family and yet still carries on like a half glass empty negative person. Always snapping at me and the kids, always complaining and winging when things are nothing but amazing. MAYBE PRAYERS WILL CHANGE HER ONE DAY!

  9. Why cant a wife just be grateful to have 3 healthy happy kids and a normal happy husband who treats her well and provides for a good life??? what do you have to be david beckham or something? probly still not enough? Jeeeeeeesus!!!! we are on a family holiday as i type. i have given everything including a nanny to help with a new 5 mnth old, and yet still all i am getting is negative complaints and carrying on.

  10. feelin sorry for you bro. i feel your pain im stuck in a similair "ungrateful" lover. Typical take take no give relationship.

  11. I wish I read this before; maybe I could have adjusted to accommodate her. When my ungrateful ex-wife and I went through marriage counseling prior to our divorce, our counselor told her that she expected more from a man than any man was willing to give. I wish she could have understood things out because we lived a happy life during our first years.

  12. Article was probably written by an ungrateful wife. But even so, she explained herself nicely that the hubby should indeed accommodate her. Off cause this should as well be a letter to an ungrateful wife.

  13. No one is perfect… everybody needs to wake up and snap out of it!!! Men and women are supposed to be EQUAL but from my personal experiences that is not the way it REALLY goes, yes there is that ungrateful wife but then there is also that ungrateful husband. I wish society would realize that. And be kind to accept that some personality types are inborn and cannot be just corrected overnight.

  14. A great piece for a real man who cares about the marriage life and not just his needs. The wife is a reflection of the man, so before we point fingers to the so-called “ungrateful lover,” let’s look at the signal we are passing across. Just a tip: be grateful and you’ll be passing the right signal to your wife!

  15. Here is my take on this. If a person is ungrateful, you should let her know, but do it respectfully. Take care and man up, its ok to say it every now and then, it is healthy.

  16. Me too but we have 6 kids

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